Explosion

My Mom is sick. Her helper is sick. My Lola is with them and she's also not well. My Mom's out-patient treatments didn't work so for economy reasons, she needs to be confined and have her medication continued for free. The problem is, her sisters won't take responsibility in taking care of their mother.

I had a chat conversations with one of my Aunts just a few minutes ago. I told her what the issue is. She demanded for money. My sister said the amount is too much. This Aunt is known to be overpricing everything just for the heck of getting money for her jobless husband. I got irritated because while I've been receiving all those rantings from my Mom, Ate was also telling me things on what to do or say or what not. AND I HATE TAKING FUCKING ORDERS. So I hung up the phone. I am not born to be an emotional sponge of people.

So since my Aunt was still online, I blurted out all that I needed to say on behalf of my Mom who couldn't be frank to them.

You need to talk with Auntie Carmen about Lola's case because Mom is about to give up.
She's planning to leave the house now.
You know well enough that when it comes to you, she's not so vocal about how she feels but for all you know she's already fed up of shouldering ALL the responsibilities that you too should have shared with.
To begin with, she's not only your parents' daughter but all her life, she's been through a lot of sacrifice. What's irritating is we, as her children, serve as stress-absorber because she doesn't have the courage to exhale all her grievances against you.
You should also take responsibility. You should also know how Mama feels about this. After all, she's just your sister.
If Mama leaves now, nobody will be left at home. If you won't feel the guilt, be apathetic.

Then I went offline. I know I'm rude. I know I'm harsh. I know I shouldn't have done that but things need to be told to make those blind and numb people aware that they need to take responsibilities of their existence.

This case makes me realize that when I'll reach my old age, I'd rather go to the home for the aged. At least, I won't know that my children are already pushing me away.

Poor

I was singling out what I've eating these past weeks which give me some rashes in my body. I've realized, I am also allergic to anything that is fermented - yes anything that has yeast in it - as in EVERYTHING. Food such as bread, cheese, cake, beer and wine are giving me this itch all over my body but I can't help but eat them. Are you kidding me? I cannot not eat bread! Ha ha ha!

I just hope God won't punish me further by making me allergic to rice and chocolates. Please lang Lord. Don't do that to me.

-o0o-

I am dateless today not by choice, not by cowardice, but because of poorness. I am so much broke that my plans to send Miss Crush a bouquet of flowers and including my short note in it wasn't realized. I was PLANNING of inviting her to go out on the last minute but yes, I am so poor. How could a well-established girl like her like somebody like me who, at this age, has not established financial stability?

This sucks so much. I won't forget this day.

-o0o-

On a happy note, today is TAF's anniversary. What started in a very noisy classroom flourished to something bigger and stronger like the friendship that we have. It is such a privilege to be a friend to Joanna, Ian, Junnah, Janice, Kim, Hunnie, Guy, Sam, Edz, Leah, Ivy and Marlyne.

Have I been a good friend to all my friends? I have a lot of shortcomings to them. I don't give them enough time. I haven't helped them that much. I think the best thing I've done to them was being loyal to them and defending them to death regardless if I appear as some lame-ass villain. As for the other friends I've had, outside of the group, I may appear to be some user-friendly individual but I never forget you as my friends. It's with a matter of prioritizing things but honestly, I can't put my original friends aside. That I can't do. What is 15 years compared to others? But still, you are my friends.

Moral Stand

I am starting to get annoyed when people ridicule me for being a virgin. That is my my moral stand and I hate it when I'm being questioned for having that stand. I mean fine, sex has a lot of benefits to them but it's not some product that one needs to sell to the point that he has to devalue the other product.

Tomorrow is going to be Valentine's Day. But I promise to myself that next Valentine's Day won't be the same. Ever.

-o0o-

The speech contest season and I'm more scared than excited. The pressure is on me. My speech isn't polished yet but I want to win in the district this time. So help me God.

Batman

I haven't gone out of the room for three consecutive days and Mommy landlady and her helper are worried about me. Even her grandchild Gelo, knocked on my door last night checking if I'm still okay.

I don't want to get out of my room. That's all. I don't feel sociable. So I pretended I'm sick. Little did they know that I've been cooking my own food here and I get out of the house to buy food when everybody's asleep.

Finally, Mommy told me to step out of my room and join her for lunch. They had paksiw which I don't really eat. So I forced a spoonful of rice with a little fish and told her I don't have the appetite. Then I went to the restroom to brush my teeth. Ha ha ha! Arte.

Con Artist

For as long as one person can have the capability to imagine, he can be anything anyone he wants to be.

I hate it when I am asked if I already have a girlfriend, or when I'm going to get married, or if I'm still single. It's as if it's going to affect my functionality as an individual. But then again, we are living in a judgmental world where something's wrong with you if you're still single. Therefore, I am abnormal.

It's the love month and people are having this I-need-to-have-a-date-on-the-14th-so-that-I-would-feel-I-would-be-called-and-Earthling itch is getting into their system. I am not really looking anymore. I just need to have the courage to invite her somewhere. But wait there's more. I need to have the finances to realize that.

Anyway, a long thread from a friend's status ended up with a question for me from a schoolmate. "Ikaw Duard, NAKA-GF ka na?" I take that not as a question but an insinuation. To end the conversation I told him that I don't have a girlfriend. But I have a friend... and a wife. End of story.

Likos

Mama just got home from the dermatologist. After more than two weeks of convincing her to see a doctor, she finally followed my persistent request order. We thought that the blisters on her skin were just normal chicken pox. She had them after New Year's Day and the wounds were healed before we went to Camiguin. She was treated with Aciclover but she still kept on complaining about her skin's itchiness.

Sometime after Christmas, she felt her chest was too tight that she's having difficulty breathing. In less than 24 hours, as soon as she was able to breathe well, I saw some watery sores on her skin and we thought it was chicken pox. Lo and behold, after all of us were healed, she still kept on saying that her left arm is still numb and that there's itchiness even underneath her skin.

The doctor said that what she had wasn't chicken pox. In our dialect, it's likos, a skin disease, still caused by the herpes virus, but a worse case than pox. The numbness of her arm was caused by the viruses that are affecting her nerve cells. What appeared to be okay on the outside isn't what is happening inside. The doctor said that this disease, if not treated immediately, this will last for almost a year, or worse, can cause paralysis, and even death, if the main blister grows near the head.

My Mom is just so lucky that hers grew on her arm. No wonder she had problems breathing when it started. The doctor gave her several shots to kill the viruses. I think this is also the so-called complication when one acquires chicken pox when he's already old.

Bastos

I just don't understand it. It must be with the Filipino culture but it also has to do with one's manners. Call me so much thick-skinned but as much as possible, I grace somebody's invitation no matter how busy I am. I even got to the point of gate-crashing because my friend brought me to some parties that I was never invited. I know it's so unbecoming of a well-mannered person and I don't have to explain.

But then again, I don't think I've hurt a host's ego by turning down his invitation when I'm already at the site and that he has to go out of his house to let me come in. If I show up, I show up, get in, eat a little (or more), talk (or sleep when I'm freaking tired).

I've been turned down by this person once and being an egotist, it really pissed me big time. Had he decided to not get in, he should have parked his car far away from the house for me not to know that he is around. Or he shouldn't have come at all.

I can't explain it well but it annoys me. If he hates me, fine. He shouldn't have come. And it ALMOST happened again last night.

Sunburned

My skin is itchy and painful because of these lesions and the burn the sun in Camiguin had caused.

I think I'd better venture into sales because I've realized I'm so good at it. It took less than 30 minutes for me to convince my younger sister to treat us out to Camiguin, making her feel envious of our experience the other year, showing her the benefits the vacation would give her instead of spending her money on less-worthy things. Obviously, she took my advice and handed me the money.

I so much love the spontaneity of our family. Ling-ling, decided to treat us out at past 4 pm, I called the hotel for reservation at almost 6, we left for Balingoan at 3am the following day with all our things and some food to cook and reached Camiguin at 8am.

The rest, as they say, is history and I'm glad we did it.

Fly Away

Personally, I'm happy with what I have in this country. Sure I only have enough to support myself but if I'll have this kind of mentality, I won't grow up and I won't prosper. That makes me disqualified for husband-hood.

This holiday vacation gave me the chance to talk to my Mom and consult some things with her. She wants me to join the exodus of Filipinos who want to lie down in greener pastures and inhale a foreign atmosphere. I don't know if I have already written an entry that as much as possible, I don't want to work abroad because I am already happy here. But thinking about the things that might earn, I became open to the chance that I might fly away from my beloved Philippines...

...with some conditions though. First, I want to work within Southeast Asia so that I could fly back home whenever I'd feel bored and I need to go home on holidays.

It's as simple as that. I would surely be missing my Toastmasters family and friends but it'll just be temporary. Gagawin ko to para lang makapag-ipon.

The Third Wedding

I first met Guy when we were 12. Since then, he'd been my co-proponent in our investigatory projects from first to fourth year. I even remember how I used to make fun of his absent-mindedness even though he was the one who looked so attentive to the teacher and I was just chatting with my seatmates Andee and Ian.

We became dorm-mates til second year college until I was kicked out of school. I wouldn't have been allowed to study farther from Butuan had he not chosen to go to MSU-IIT. On the other hand, I would have had the privilege to go to UP had he chosen to have his DOST scholarship taken in UP.

Years had passed and he seemed to have drifted away from the group. I even felt guilty that I wasn't aware that his Mom passed away. I would have told the entire barkada to visit her wake and extend a help to Guy. But it was his choice to not inform us so I understood it.

Finally, he contacted me a couple of years ago about his interest to work in Cebu. Unfortunately, I was already in Manila then so I told him to contact Ian. I made sure that he would be properly taken care of in Cebu and I fully trusted Ian to do it. Since then, he had been constantly communicating with me, including his joke about his feeling for Junnah, which I took so seriously. I even offered to buy him a black barong for Junnah's wedding last April. Ha ha ha!1

Before Hunnie's wedding last year, he changed his status from "In a Relationship" to "Engaged" and the whole group congratulated him. Then we were invited. Hun's wedding came and he almost missed it. Thanks to her then fiancee Hanna, who helped him look for his long-sleeve shirt and slacks and pushed him to attend the occasion. Then we went island-hopping the following day.

The nice thing about our group is that we're so spontaneous that it really is very easy for us to continue where we've left off. The nicer thing is that, we instantly welcome somebody to be a part of us if he/she attempts to connect with us and if we like him/her. All the prejudices about Hanna were all gone when we finally met her. She's sweet, accommodating and a warm person that we felt an instant connection. I even appreciate her that she trusts me too much since she's been asking me of some ideas for her wedding.

Finally, December came and as the founder of the group, I PRESSURED everybody to join their wedding and I was successful. I have accepted that it is really in my nature to be pressuring people to do things that I want to happen and I think it's for the common good. :)

Since we are spontaneous, we changed the plan of leaving Butuan on December 27 to 28 since majority of us would be available on that date. We left the city at 4 AM, reached Tinuy-an Falls at past 8 and reached the pension house in Mangagoy, Bislig, Surigao del Sur, at past 10. The wedding began at past 3 and we had our reception at past 5.

The theme was Rock 'n Roll and the moment I received the invitation, I was already hesitant about it since what we were thinking was glam rock, gothic rock, punk rock - any kind of rock actually except the Elvis Prestley and Marilyn Monroe era but Hanna assured me that what we had in mind correct and she urged us to be in the theme so that was what I made sure to everybody.

I even had to check everybody in the pension house if they were okay to the point of making fun of Ivy's floral dress by asking her if Hawaiian is already the new rock. Good thing Janice brought a lot of spare dresses that she was able to change her attire. I had to make sure I was speck and span in our room since Ian was my roommate. From my pants, to my towel, to my toiletries, I had to make sure that they're in order because I didn't want to get reprimanded. I also had to minimize my noise. He he he.

I was really touched by Guy and Hanna because they kept on checking us if we were okay, when in fact, it was their day. The ceremony came and we made sure we were properly behaved. I even had to constantly remind Ivy to hold still and move on. Of course it was a joke but some people like Edz thought that Ivy and Guy had a past.

I was surprised to see Guy crying while walking along the aisle. I was even more surprised when I heard him cry while delivering his vow. I thought he only did that to hide some grammatical errors and mispronunciations. Ha ha ha!

Reception came and Junnah and I were the emcees. It's not really my cup of tea to be connecting with the people. Good thing teacher Junnah was there to make the event alive and made everybody responsive. There wasn't any flow of the program so everything was just impromptu. Hopefully, Guy and Hanna liked it.

What impressed me much were the videos that Guy created especially the well-documented wedding preparations. No wonder we are friends - he has the touch of artistry and creativity. He he.

Generally, I thought that their wedding was cool. It wasn't the usual prim-and-proper princess-y kind that not everybody understands and appreciates it. But it is their wedding and what matters is that the couple enjoyed it and so are the people who have joined them in the celebration of their union.

Three down for TAF, technically, 11 more to go. I'm looking forward for another wedding for the group and I'm working on mine. :)

I Think Therefore

I am human. And I think to be different from what is usual, from what is normal, from what is common.

This is my first blog of the year and I am looking forward to a lot of things. First is Ivy's wedding in May. Then our Back to HS Prom party on December 29. I don't want to call the latter as class reunion because we're not the official association. I just want to have something enjoyable and to draw a different perspective of party in Butuan City, something that is totally different from the usual drinking session. In fact, in our planned souvenir, we're even planning to put there "Back to HS Reunion - I was there and I wasn't drunk."

Before the year ended, I had opened myself to some possibilities like going abroad to work and be able to save some amount for my future. I need to have a direction and it has to start somewhere like my career.

I still have two weddings to blog about but I can't write them yet because my head aches. I've got a lot of rashes on my legs and I don't know what are these and these impede to my ability to think.

Happy New Year everyone!

My Head Needs Some Bonking

After buying a gift for Guy and Hanna's wedding, Junnah, Ian and I had our dinner. As always, I'm the subject of their jokes, with some rebounds against Junnah. Some funny exchanges of wits turned to something serious - about my attitude problem. Both people reprimanded me for being impulsive with my decisions, for being a rolling stone, and for not finishing what I started. I know it's my fault but I always have the argument that I can't continue with something that I'm not happy at.

If this would be my eternal defense, "forever" would just remain as a word to me. That also means that I can't hold on to a relationship the moment I can't get happy with it. But why have I stuck with the same friends for more than a decade? Why have I been enjoying with TM for three years now? Why have I maintained this blogsite for already five years?

Honestly, I'm in the middle of a limbo, AGAIN. I really want to know my place in this earth before I'll get consumed by this so-called quarter life crisis. Committing suicide is not an option. I still want to grow old with the woman I truly love.

But first, I need to grow up. NOW. And I need some bonking.

Always Ready

I have realized this evening that I'm almost always ready when a friend invites me to his very, not so very, and so not very special event. I must say that more than 50% of the invitations are accepted, not because I don't have anything much important to do (I must accept that there are still some instances where I'm totally free) but because I find time to free myself just for me to grace that invitation.

The question is, that does really mean that I'm a friend who's always on the go, who values a friend and not hurt him for being turned down, or am I just some boring individual who doesn't have any other things to do in life than to please his friends?

Happy Christmas

I was supposed to rant about what happened almost a week ago. Thank goodness for a very great internet connection here that God didn't permit me to post it. This is the season of happiness and negative things should have no space for my blogsite... yet.

So far, tonight's been nice. All in this house, including their moods, cooperated with my usual demands to wear their red attires, including my body itch that's been disturbing me. It's more than allergy.

It's my first time to prepare macaroni salad and I don't even know if it tastes right. I'm doing it for my Mom who so much adores the taste of that angled pasta drenched in that oh-so-yummy mayonnaise that I appreciate more than Kris Aquino. I couldn't control myself looking at the nanny mixing the pasta with just the mayo and some few amount of spices. Thank goodness to Google and its links that I was able to find a nice recipe and I headed to our sarisari store to gather some other ingredients such as carrots, eggs, chicken, cheese and pickles. They, including my niece and nephews, say it tastes okay. I appreciate their honesty and understatement. Ha ha!

Everybody received his gift except me. That's always the case. Since Ate Doreen left the house, I've gone to bed empty-handed but it's okay. As the season tells us, it's better to give than to receive. I understand my Mom hates to shop and she knows I can't appreciate her poor taste especially when it comes to fashion so she opted not to make an attempt. But at least, she could have handed me some cash. Ha ha ha!

I feel that our decoration looks boring. I think it's because it's been like this for five years and I feel I could put all the decorations blind-folded. The only consolation I have is to receive the commendations from our ultraconservative neighbors who assert that it's still better to get married than to be a single parent like Ate Doreen. The hell I care.

I'm still so much awake til now and I don't know how to get to sleep. I can't drink milk because I might wake up and stay at the restroom for a day. My digestive system is so much perky when I overeat.

Enjoying

The Christmas party held last Saturday was a blast! I didn't expect it to be that fun. People congratulate me for being able to put up an event like that and honestly, I don't deserve all the credit. It wouldn't have been that fun had those people chose not to come, not to participate and not to enjoy. I am just conceptualizer. The end product relied on the people.

Thinking, organizing and working on a project such as that is really tiring. But definitely, it is very much fulfilling. I enjoy doing it and I didn't have any complaints as long as people will do what I want them to do. Thank goodness there weren't any killjoys. Inviting some people even took a lot of pressure. I got to the point of threatening them that I won't talk to them for a year. "Excuse me, do I know you?" Ha ha ha! For some, I told them to stand by their promise that they will attend. As for some, I told them that it is a must. And I was successful enough. Though there were some people who tried to sabotage it, and they thought they were successful in convincing the others to boycott the event, pictures show that our party is very awesome.

I think I really enjoy doing it because it's been my frustration to come up with an event where all people cooperate, go with the theme, participate in the activities and really have fun without getting drunk and losing one's self. I am looking forward to organizing an event where people pole-vault when it comes to costumes, production, presentation, and even venue. That will ultimately happen. Impossible is nothing!

Here's is the video that I made:

Exhausted

I only had two hours of sleep. I attended the TM meeting this morning where Lynne was our general evaluator. I was nervous about her reaction when she saw me and I was surprised that when she got inside the venue, she greeted me like nothing happened. It made me feel happy because finally, before this year ends, I've made peace with one person.

Along the conversation, I've realized why Lynne and I get together well. She's a Capricorn. He he he. Oh well. But there's not a single romantic feeling I feel for her huh. It's still Cris. He he he.

Sweet December

It is already December! Aside from my much-awaited Christmas and New Year's Days, I also have a lot to look forward to for this month.

• December 9 - Ate Doreen's birthday. She'll be 35 but I won't tease her this time because though she's still single, she already has a baby.
  
  
• December 11 - Our Toastmasters area Christmas party. It was initially planned to be our home club's Christmas party then we decided to make it a joint party with our sister club. When I was invited to become the general evaluator of another club in our area, Zaldy, the party host, suggested to include them. Finally, after all the no-we're-going-to-hold-our-own-party and this-is-getting-confusing-because-some-officers-don't-like-the idea, the club presidents and the area governor finally agreed to make it an area party. Thank God I won't be the emcee but we are going to perform a Broadway medley. Since this is a party, I am tasked, again, to create an audio-visual presentation. Here I go sleepless days again!
  
  
• December 19 - Company Christmas party. Theme: Glam Rock. I think people have run out of party theme ideas that this would be the third party where rock is the theme. Hay.
  
  
• December 20 - Enriqueta's birthday. She'll be 61 this year and still getting more bitchy. Ha ha ha! I love you Ma!
  
  
• December 21 - Dylan's 3rd birthday. He's still three years old but he looks like he's 8. Ha ha ha!
  
  
• December 22 - Lilet's birthday. She's my kids' nanny and we're so thankful to have her. Amazing dedication to her job.
  
  
• December 25 - Christmas! Hay. I haven't shopped for my presents for them yet. Will I be able to do it? I'm really financially challenged.
  
  
• December 28 - Guy's wedding. I'll be the emcee. Again, the theme is rock but we can't wear black (except my jacket). Pressure for me. I have a feeling Guy gave me a role so that I won't have much time criticizing other people in the occasion.
  
  
• December 29 - Cha and Tim's wedding. I haven't received the invitation yet but Cha promised to include me in the guest list. I'm not yet sure but I'm quite positive about it. Hopefully, this wedding will be realized. They've been together since 1998. Nobody can beat that.
  
  
• December 30 - Rizal Day. How can I forget our national hero? Ha ha ha ha!
  
  
• December 31 - Preparation for Media Noche.

Now who says I'm not busy? Ha ha ha! I already had the ticket as early as February thinking that I would still be at school. What about my job? Who cares? Ha ha ha! I already have my plan on how to get away from being memo-ed. Plus I am applying for another job and hopefully I'll start working by January. So help me God.

Warfreak

Been into another FB fight again in defense of a friend who's been pestered by another person. I'm really a [war]freak of a nature and I love it. He he he.

Wasn't able to blog lately because of my new job. I really don't like it and I don't see myself growing with this company (someday I might realize I'm already celebrating my fifth year ranting). I am not anymore comfortable with a graveyard schedule. I tend to sleep a lot in the office. And as always, I have my "bestfriend" to the point of delivering those sarcastic remarks everytime he speaks. I even got to the point of calling him Homo erectus because of his face. Ha ha ha! And in our wave [legit] chatroom, we suggested to create another one specifying "Wave [our wave number] except [his name]." Ha ha ha!

I am a bully. Ha ha ha! But everybody hates him, including our trainer, who he called as unproductive. The nerve! What's irritating is that he already passed Berlitz, an English proficiency oral assessment, even though his accent is like that of a caveman. Oh well, examinations are really subjective.

Outer Force

My friends tell me that even if I don't speak, my mere presence alone is already a huge pressure. I am aware of that. I think it's because of my strong personality and superiority. Add it with my overwhelming perfectionism.

This morning, we had another meeting with our Toastmasters club. Four were scheduled to deliver our speeches that includes our president and I. Unfortunately, the icebreaker speaker backed out and the other speaker had to fill in the GE role vacated by the supposed general evaluator but had to prioritize her in-laws who are in the hospital. With almost 10 expected guests, none of them showed up which was a bummer. But there were eight members, and one newly signed up member attended. Since only two of us were supposed to deliver our speeches and no guests were around, I posed a challenge to the other members - to deliver their basic speeches off the cuff. Karen, willfully took the challenge. Noel relied on Karen so when she said yes, he also said yes. Angie said she had a hard time thinking of a nice topic so I suggested things like associating Chemistry (her course in college) with her job or meeting people, her job itself, or perhaps talking about her 21-inch waistline (figures were just made up). Then they started scribbling their pens.

Dante stepped in the venue and took the challenge as well. So that made the meeting filled with "prepared" speakers. I delivered my speech for ALB, Cameron delivered his first advanced speech, and four members delivered their third, fourth, fifth and sixth basic speeches. That was really fun! What made it amazing was that their speeches sounded more prepared than those who I've heard delivered their "prepared" speeches.

I would like to congratulate everyone for having the courage. I also like to congratulate myself for being effective in my first job as a newly appointed VP Education (same position as Cris') in encouraging everybody to progress with their manual. Indeed, it was a meeting of thanksgiving.

All About the Money

(Playing in the background: "It's All About the Money" by Meja)

We spent an hour or so discussing about the incentives and bonuses last night (or technically early this morning). Money matters bore me. It's not that I don't need money at all. It's necessary for my survival, for our survival but it's not the only thing we need. True that I am working for money but when one applies for a job, he has to reasons - is he merely looking for a job or is he craving for a career? If he opts for the first one, he's merely there for the money but if he goes for the latter, he is more on growth, on fulfillment, on satisfaction other than anything else.

Our trainer is not part of the company's incentive program but she seems so happy talking infront (even though she still commits a lot of grammatical lapses and mispronunciations) and I could feel her fulfillment as a person. A lot of people die in this world without having that feeling of being fulfilled and I don't want to be a part of them.

-o0o-

I'm always caught by our trainer sleeping in the class, while having classes. I'm not embarrassed. Ha ha ha! It's just that I'm too old to change my biological clock. I'm really a morning person and I could function well in the morning than during evenings. I remember when I was a student that I couldn't study well on the evening but I have that zeal when I woke up at around 3am to study. I also think that it has to do with my lifestyle... and with age. Ha ha ha!

-o0o-

I am more decided to not apply for UP-LAE this year. Deadline of filing will be this Friday but I haven't really prepared the requirements. First reason is, I'm on a tight budget. If I'll be spending my 1,800 for the application, that means I don't have anything to eat next week. Salaries in callcenters are delayed by one pay period so I have a lot of sacrifice to do. I don't want to ask money from my family anymore and I don't want to bother my friends, owing 1,800 from them, only to find out by January that I fail again, and making me feel I'm one of the stupidest people on earth. Plus I also have a lot of bills to pay on my pay day. Argh. It's still all about the money.

Secondly, I am starting to think that lawyering isn't for me. Maybe my negativity conquers me again but I don't know. Ms. Joy told me that the law profession is a dirty field where dogs eat their fellow dogs and I feel that I still have a minute heart for some people. I don't know.

I'm back in the limbo on uncertainty.

OA

Lee Dae Hae and her video had been passed around by Filipinos last week just like some hot scandal that [almost] everybody had been wanting to see it. But instead of drooling on the said medium, our co-Pinoys watched it and reacted violently, expressing their disgust and rage against the Korean actress.

Having the mind of a curious gossiper, I watched it and just like some apathetic individual, I wasn't offended at it even though the subtitle deliberately stated Philippines. Maybe it's because I don't understand Korean or I haven't heard the word "Philippines" being uttered by the actress.

On my opinion, our reaction was way over the top. I think that we are so fond of blowing things out of proportion that things as petty as this are given full attention when our economic and political crises remain unresolved. I believe that before we should be reacting on issues like this, whether or not the statement is true (and I must say they are partly true), we should also examine ourselves if we've been nice to other people. We are so onion-skinned when our race is given negative attention when, in fact, we rudely give nasty remarks on some races with regard to their accents, their smell and even their physical appearance. True that what Alec Baldwin's statement about mail-to-order brides was a false generalization but it is existing. Teri Hatcher's line in "Desperate Housewives" doubting the integrity of the doctor that he might be a product of some med school in our country might be offensive but undoubtedly, some schools in the Philippines are really substandard, not to mention that we could even get a college diploma along Recto.

I mean, come on. Philippines and Filipinos don't have a flat personality. We have our own negative sides and we're not expected to display an image of only those oh-so-great things because whether or not we admit it, we have our bad sides. In fact, we suck in a lot of things that's why we don't prosper as a country and we're stuck as one of the poorest ones in this world.

Most importantly, I've observed that we have a lot of free time passing on that video and talking about matters as irrelevant as this that won't even contribute to the development of our country. We better work our asses off and learn to just shake off things that won't help us as a country.

-o0o-

Speaking of free time, I had a lot before I have this new job, which, hopefully, will be something that I could have for the rest of my life, or at least, will be something I could see myself growing. I want to become a trainer because I really believe that I can be a great one. Manning a team is definitely not my forte. Educating people is something that I could do and I could give the best in me.

Anyway, I'm still addicted to Zuma and until now, I'm still attempting to break my own record. Being able to finish the game is sheer bliss. You don't know how happy I was last week when I finally saw the message congratulating me. I've been attempting to finish this game fore more than two years and finally I'm done. Gusto kong magpaburger pero wala akong pera. At nagluto na ako ng ginataan so I think I'm done. Ha ha ha!

MEAN

Here are just a few of the booboos that I've noticed from our trainer:

Equipments
Pace out (phase out)
One of the 20+ tool
The member are....
The filler "a'right"
Sometimes, portability is not good all the time.

So far, I have created two characters in our wave - so not beautiful characters. The others are, somehow, tolerable like their grammar and p and f problem and their being makulit and all.

Meet character 1. She's a she and she has proven it. She's got three kids but not married. To give her some credit, she's got nice hair but the moment she does a bun, the hideous tattoo on her nape disturbs me. I don't even want to take a look at the design. I mean, the location, the shape, the color, if that's what you call art, then that's bad art. Though she's nice to me, she asks too much that I feel she's being pabibo. I hate looking at her unaligned upper front teeth which are so evident when she speaks add it with lips that tend to devour your mouth whenever she opens them. I mean, they're really scary. While I appreciate eye contact, her bright eyes seem to be too eager and excited to stare at you so intently. I mean, I don't feel comfortable with her. And she talks like a palengkera even in English.

Character 2 is a guy. He looks like Jaime Foxx but shorter, fatter and in an irritating way. He said if given the chance to give himself a new name, he'd want it to be "Satan." Do you think that's what a sane man would think of? Our trainer is even scared at him that whenever she wants to correct him, she makes sure she's far enough from him because he's so defensive and it'll look like he's going to jump on her. He could be a model for Bibbo hotdog because he keeps on talking even though our trainer is trying to explain something. Fine, ikaw na ang marunong but better shut up. It was my task to discuss about the remote control this afternoon and I wanted to aim the gadget at him to shut him off from our room. Worse, I wanted to bonk his head with something heavier. To top it all, he doesn't even speak good English. He's got b, v, p and f frovlems maybe because of his overbite. Add it with his usual misses on the sounded th, and subject verb disagreement. I just hate him.

Anyway, I had an argument with the guard today. The company has this strict policy of having our bags to be left at the guard. I just found out this afternoon that he stapled the stub ON the bag's sling instead of stapling it AROUND it. It buried a hole. I mean it's not big but I'm really OC with my things. Worse, instead of apologizing, he was sarcastic in asking me "San nyo po ba gustong ilagay ko yung papel? Alangan na man dito? (pointing to the leather part.)" I told him that I'm so delicate in handling my things and the least that he could do is to apologize and ask me politely how he could have done it. The other day, he accused me of mislabeling my cellphone that's why it's misplaced. WTF! I already told my trainer about him and I wanted him reprimanded. Why am I a magnet of these kinds of insecure security?

Ranting - The Comeback

I am back to work - as a call boy again in some company nearby. This morning, I had to wake up too early to attend a new-hire orientation. Training will officially start tomorrow but I sense that the company is practicing austerity measures that they want to save a few hours of discussing the company background, benefits and giving out some forms so that they could start the client specifics right away by tomorrow. I left the house at exactly 7am, the supposed meeting time as what was indicated by the text message. I thought to myself, why should I rush? This is unpaid? And the real McCoy will start tomorrow, including every minute of tardiness being recorded and deducted from the salary. Indeed, I was right. I came 30 minutes late and a couple of minutes after, the new-hire personnel started to discuss. Even he was not in the mood because he just arrived all the way from the province because of All Saints Day. Some people even came later than I did.

I displayed my usual image to everybody, the kind that nobody would dare talk with nor smile at. I was just showing a blank, intimidating face that wouldn't even give a grin to some jokes. I was just there. If somebody would ask, I'd give him a few words as an answer. I don't know when this kind of front would last. Ha ha!

After around 30 minutes, the site director spoke welcoming us. He said he pampers employees but he demands excellence. Something that we really could get along well with. He doesn't demand for OT, which is another plus. There are also several organizations in the company such as the photography group, basketball and volleyball teams, GLEE CLUB, and some others. He said we could approach him anytime if we want to organize another group. Time for public speaking because one of the HR's kept on saying uhms and ahs after almost every word. Ha ha ha!

Generally, I have a positive feeling with the company except that this wavemate is too noisy and I hate his voice. Add it with his poor sense in fashion (too colorful abstract and oversized shirt, loose black slacks and oogly BROWN shoes). Anyway, the company has a lot of promise like huge incentives, fame, house and lot and to top it all, having Cris Av*so as my lifetime partner. Why should I think of resigning?

-o00-

The annoying thing about being attracted to somebody is that you see her face in everything everywhere. It's like her face pops out of nowhere just like this music video I used to see when I was a kid.

Hurray!

Call me evil. Call me insensitive. Call me anything you want (e.g. handsome, hot, very hot). I would just like to express how ecstatic I am that finally, our past mayor, who had been reigning in our city for 12 years, is FINALLY dead.

Reports said that he finally succumbed to whatever complicated disease that he has. I really don't care about his illness. What I care for is the fact that he has fled out of my beloved city FOR GOOD. I don't feel sorry for his bereaved family. They've led the town for 15 years and that's a huge amount of money that have fed them and made them really fat.

I am happy for Butuan. I see the sunshine. I see hope. And I hope more that this would be the end of their supremacy (fingers crossed including my thumb that my hands look like that of a crab).

Another Wedding

Fe, Janice and I had a lot of fun last night attending 1Lt Owen Monato's wedding. The latter had been our classmate for only a year in high school, first year high to be exact. Her grandmother who's an owner of a high school in a rural place had her transferred which was a bummer. Owen is really one brilliant person and I really thought that her grandmom trashed her chances of honing her to her best potential. But then again, what matters is the now. She graduated from PMA and is working at the Airforce.

Owen was one of those I got to get close during my who-are-my-real-friends days in high school. She wasn't the one I bullied nor did she hurt me despite her size. She's one of those intelligent classmates who wasn't boastful of her brains but still emerged as one of the top 10 in the class and in fact, being able to be part of the Math Olympiad qualifiers who underwent the exam to represent the school. The last time I saw her was when she visited the school in senior high where I strolled around the campus in this magenta loose shirt and blue shorts and slippers. Ha ha ha! Ginawang extension ng bahay ang campus.

The other week, I was very surprised when I received an email from her asking for my physical address because she wanted to send me her wedding invitation. I thought she was just kidding but knowing her, she's a serious person (though she smiles and laughs a lot). She even told me to invite whoever classmates we had that I could drag to her wedding. Unfortunately, only Janice and Fe were able to make it. I am in no position to talk about etiquette but I think that being able to grace one's invitation is a way of thanking the host and showing one's gratitude of being invited. I mean not all people are privileged to be invited and unless you really are busy, the best way to showing one's gratitude is to accept the invitation. Personally, I feel bad when somebody I invite declines my invitation even for a very simple celebration like my birthday. So, even without a gift, I immediately said I could make it not thinking that I don't even have a single penny for my transportation. Thanks to Janice who's been very generous in paying for my fare.

It's my first time to get into the Iglesia ni Cristo church. I was very much excited to witness a wedding ceremony done under the INC rites but because of the very heavy traffic and the scarcity of buses going to Lipa, we reached the church during the picture-taking part already. What I missed most was the exchange of vows, where I want to feel the love between the couple regardless of their pronunciation and grammatical lapses. (Why are you reacting that way? I mean it.) Owen's gown was very simple. I applaud the designer for crafting something that suits her personality - simple and on the go. Romil's military attire make him look so snappy. They both look good together. Anyway, I thought the venue of the ceremony was rather small and unappealing but when we got to the reception, it was WOW! It's so spacious, so huge and really romantic.

When we got inside, Janice was awed at the cupcakes. I got distracted immediately by the host who, to begin with, made me unsure if she's a she, a he or an it. She was in her executive attire which made her appear more stiff, not to mention her bulging abdomen which is more distracting to my very critical eyes and eating-disorder mentality. Though I commend the wedding coordinators for being so strict with the guest list and really doing their job in making everybody feel comfortable and ensuring that things are handled well and spontaneously, they were dressed in black skirt and blazers which made them look inappropriately dressed for the occasion.

Speaking of inappropriately dressed, some guests should really know how to define formal, from semi-formal to informal. As a sign of courtesy to the one who invited, it's really proper for the guest to know what the proper attire is, and if there is some theme or what. Weddings are not just some kiddie party that we could show up in mamantelahin polo shirts, kukurtinahin blouses and denim pants.

I like the decoration. The flowers were simple chrysanthemums and baby's breath but some lilies and bromeliads made them look special. I even thought they're fake but when I touched one, I realized they're real and the scent even lingered on my hands. The food were great and were gracefully served by the so-called "well-trained staff." The snappy PNP and PMA swordsmen were terrific! The brasses "kartet" (quartet) was splendid though I think nobody could beat the piano and strings combined. But oh, that was a military band so why did I expect something? The wedding singer was great as well.

What awed me was the awesome job of the videographers and the photographers. Their prenup photos were simple but extraordinary. Their guestbook was like WHOA! I was even amazed by the video shown because some of the clips were taken just a few minutes ago and the editor was so quick in doing his job. Ang linis! The chapel didn't appear small.

I think the major flaw, or if there's a five-star general flaw, was the host. He/she/it was really distracting. Her lines don't sound conversational but rather scripted. Everything was too impersonal. I don't even think she had the chance to talk to the couple so that at least she would know what to say about them. If I were her, I would really get the audience to give the couple a round of applause in every number they presented. We are aware that Filipinos are generally boring audience so we need some force to make them react and listen to what we say. In addition, the tossing of the bouquet and garter was monopolized by the couple's batchmates, who, obviously, are not the only singles in the crowd. Duh! I am a single guy and Janice and Fe are two single ladies. Ha ha ha! One of my objectives in attending the wedding is to get the garter but I wasn't asked to go to the stage. Anyway, what the host could have done is to go to each table and check who the single individuals are. Isn't it that the more participants are, the merrier it could be? But seriously, as in seriously seriously, I want to get her as a host for my wedding because she entertained me the entire evening (e.g. BITING of the cake, FAI-delity, principal and secondary spon-SOARs... and of course the kids, and of course and of course, blah blah). My friends and co-TM's would surely have a great laugh the entire evening when she'll be the host for my wedding. Ha ha ha! Bad.

Anyway, I was very surprised when Owen told me that they had a very short preparation for the event. I would like to congratulate her and her husband, Romil Avenido (I don't know his rank) of the PNP for the successful wedding and for having their marriage most importantly.

Conceptualizer

December 11 is more than a month away but I'm already excited for the Area 3 Christmas Party! When Zaldy told me about it, I could imagine the sparkle in my bright eyes with that huge smile and a lot of ideas going through my mind. I've already told him that wearing red and/or green would be the easiest way to make people dress up. The party will also appear more festive in pictures because of the lively color. Yesterday, I sent an SMS to the president of GHP asking who in their club could sing Broadway songs. I already have an idea for that number. I also thought of having a rock presentation with the rockers of different clubs. Laurence asked if she could make a number for their club alone and I told her that would be fine but I told her that having the members perform in one number would be a lot better because it would encourage unity among clubs which will make the area-wide contest next year more of a showdown and fun instead of a real stiff competition.

I don't have anybody in mind yet to act as hosts but I'm really excited for this. AVP's here I come!

-o0o-

I'm still not giving up on the possibility that Janice will sign up for Toastmasters. I really think that her awesome writing skills will be enhanced when she'll be working on her speeches. I always tell Zaldy that she's great at writing and I don't praise people just for the heck of pulling their legs. I am aware that the mere fact that we're friends make her feel pressured but I promise I won't be her mentor, nor will be evaluating her speeches (except the last one). And I would be giving my constructive and truthful evaluation when I'll be doing that.

-o0o-

I miss doing the blog of the month. When can we do it again guys?

The Rebirth

I am happy that the party turned out great last night. Despite the bed weather, the heavy traffic and the time that flies that quickly (I should be aware that at this season, the clock ticks faster than any other part of the year as it was discussed in Earth Science when we were in first year high), the party started terribly late but I THINK (in my opinion), it turned out successful. The food were all great. Although some people were last minute no-shows, a lot of them were able to come and party with us and I would like to thank them very much.

Unfortunately, Jaja and I weren't able to rehearse our number. I was so much consumed with editing the videos that I wasn't able to write the script nor rehearse my solo part for Tita Liza (all because Cameron doesn't want to sing a ballad as part of the tribute for her) that's why I really messed up. Enough of being defensive. I really suck at singing. Ha ha ha! But I appreciate Tita Liza appreciating our tribute to her. That's something that I really love in her. She's so appreciative even with very simple things like that.

The supposed finale of the guys singing and dancing *NSync wasn't done. I think I had enough of the humiliation that I decided not to sing anymore. I might be blamed for the bad weather. Ha ha ha!

Nevertheless, I'm so happy that they liked the videos I made. It's the least that I could do to make the celebrators happy. They couldn't believe that I was able to ask a video greeting from no less than the next second VP of Toastmasters International. At least it's a good way of leaving an etch in their hearts that somehow, some noisy and hyper-active individual had exerted his efforts pestering all those people to make video greetings of themselves, browsing YouTube for clips of some celebrities greeting them, stalking their Facebook accounts for some pictures that I could use, thinking of the appropriate scores, and putting all the materials together. It's my way of parting from the club in a high note. It was just so high that I decided not to tell them that I'm leaving. I don't want all the drama and shit. I'll just be spoiling the evening which would really be a bummer. I'm not some old melodramatic person who would ruin all the fun because of being self-centered and all. At least, I exited in a very happy mood. Well I was just kidding. I can't leave CAMANAVA! I might be able to break-up with a girl but not with CAMANAVA. Ha ha ha ha!

Next Picture

Jaja and I will be hosting "The Rebirth," The Re-chartering Anniversary of CAMANAVA Brunch Toastmasters Club on October 23 at The Fortress⁺. We will be doing a song-and-dance medley on our opening and we haven't rehearsed yet so good luck. Ha ha ha! With our tandem alone, I'm sure it will really be fun. It won't be some normal TM meeting with the usual handshake and "round of applause please all the way" thingy. There will be a lot of surprises.

Did I say that the boys and that includes me will also be doing an *NSync performance as our finale? I'm excited. Ha ha!

The POSTER has a different version. Might as well comment which looks better.

+ - Zaldy's place at Sta. Mesa Heights

Social Networking

The birth of Facebook and Twitter made lazy people lazier. Thank goodness to mini-blogs which made people of less words type lesser words. For a few months, I was addicted to the former, posting my rantings multiple times a day. I loved the attention I got whenever comments start treading. There were even instances when I intentionally post provocative statuses so that people couldn't keep themselves from posting their comments. That makes me realize that I am suffering from attention deficiency.

But after a while, I grew tired of doing it. With the limited number of characters that one has to post, it impedes the expressionism in me. I suck at brevity and I feel I am less misunderstood if I soak my articles with my lengthy nature. Though there are only a few people who read my blogs, at least I am a little secure because only those people who I trust know its URL unless I have carelessly given it to somebody or that one curious and resourceful individual has checked Google.

Lately, I have observed that people have been seeing the existence of those social networking sites in a very different perspective to the point of abusing them. For weeks, I had read some statuses which are beyond rantings - something that talks about hatred, some drama and shit which shouldn't be accessed by ALL people. Sure it's a form of expression but it's not really a healthy thing for a person to read somebody's very negative statement when he opens his account. Though I admit that I'm guilty of contributing to this world hate, I don't remember posting in my wall something like "I HATE YOU EFFIN PERSON" or "PINAASA MO LANG AKO PI KA!" Oh yeah, I remember one. I just posted that about that insignificant it and telling it that it's doomed and stuff like that. I regret doing that act. But you know, I'm talking about something more serious.

Last week, I saw my friend's fiancee's status telling him that they are over and stuff like that. I called my friend and clarified things and he said things were just blown out of proportion. What made him mad is that some simple and petty issues like theirs were already broadcast publicly in the whole world-wide web that people, including those who are not even that close to them, have been diving into their private matters, which just worsened the case. A day after, they've made peace with each other (Whoa! That made us scared thinking that we might not be able to wear our rock attire for their wedding.)

Secondly, there are also couples who exchange their I love you's in their walls. I know I'm being a cynic again but then again, isn't it that love is not proud? Don't they know that there is a private message option in Facebook? Don't they have cellphones to text their loved ones instead? I know I sound like I'm envious because my life is like Coke - zero. But don't these people appreciate personal touch that they don't write each other cards or love letters anymore? Hay. Technology is making this world less lovely.

Sa 'Yo Lamang

After 10 years of waiting, Director Laurice Guillen has finally come up with another movie that centers around the basic unit of the society - the family. What made it more relate-able to the Filipino viewers is that it talks about love, hatred and forgiveness among family members which comprise the main ingredient of the most favorite genre of our race - mucus-stimulating melodrama that won't stop one's lacrimal glands from producing tears continuously.

The Cinema Evaluation Board gave it an A Grade which is not surprising perhaps because of hype, the name of the director and the film outfit that produces the movie. But personally, I think that it's just an ordinary film talking about a father who came back after after leaving them for a long time for another woman. Their mother, Lorna Tolentino, accepts him with open arms but the eldest child, Bea Alonzo lives in rage against him creating a conflict between the members. The second child, Coco Martin enjoys his Dad's company while the third and fourth children, Enchong Dee and Miles Ocampo, respectively, couldn't connect with him since they were too young when he left them. Then as expected, each member of the family has to adjust with the new set-up, causing a rift between the eldest daughter and her Mom.

What made the story more complicated is the presence of some other characters and other conflicts like the love triangle between Bea, Zanjoe and Diether, the so-so pacute-cute puppy love of Miles Ocampo and this other ugly Going Bulilit kid, Enchong's friendship-turned romantic love for Lauren Young and the much talked about five-second love scene of Coco and Shaina Magdayao. This ensemble syndrome causes lackluster performances of the actors and resulting to poor build up of their characters when those don't necessarily have to be there. The problem with us is that we cast so many stars to make the movie appear big to the point that the story loses its focus from the main idea, and in this case, the family.

I wasn't surprised with the ending of the movie because I know the cast prior to viewing it and so far I hadn't seen Empress Shuck yet so while Lorna and Bea where in the revelation stage, I already knew what Empress' character is and I wasn't wrong. What's funny is that there's that Laurice trademark that the lights are getting brighter as the character is already dying making his face appear sabog like Gloria Romero's scene in "Tanging Yaman" where she accepted the holy communion.

All in all, it's just a movie and I'd still love all Filipinos to watch it so that we could also help the local movie industry and encourage the filmmakers to keep on creating movies. I'd say I give three stars for the values it teaches the viewers but honestly, Laurice and the writers could have done better than that.

P.S.
As a Photoshop addict, I should know if the family portrait used in the poster is real or not. It appears that the actors' had their solo photos separately taken and assembled together to make it appear that they had a group picture. He he he. Look at Boyet's foot which appears floating.

The Second Wedding

This picture won't give justice to the one I've felt during the entire ceremony. I've realized romanticism still resides in my cynical hypothalamus. After all the tears I cried, I am still in love with love.

I will be posting my looooooooong review of the wedding once my mind would start working. As to the question when would it be, I don't know. Ha ha ha! But I will surely be writing about it.

As of now, I'm pretty exhausted. I'm getting sleepy and dizzy every hour and I need to recharge. Feed me. Ha ha!

Major Major

William Baldwin: What is the one big mistake that you did in your life? And what did you do to make it right?

Venus Raj: In my 22 years of existence, there is nothing major, major problem that I have done in my life. Because I am very confident with my family and the love they are giving to me. So thank you so much.

I wasn't really impressed with her answer. Among those questions given, this is the easiest one because it's something that could be drawn from a personal experience, from the heart, from something that one has felt. Unfortunately, our candidate failed to nail it. The moment I heard her answer the question, I already had accepted that she won't be the queen but I still hoped that she would win.

What happened these past two days have been a rollercoaster ride to us, Filipinos. Yesterday was a drama full of shit by this police officer who was so foolish by taking some foreigners as hostage. He could have just climbed on top of a billboard or perhaps use those useless craps called squatters as hostages. Add it with his brother and the latter's daughter who were successful enough in taking the limelight and took advantage of their much-awaited exposure. It's just a shame that a fault of one Filipino taints the entire nation. I also think that some of those shots were from stray bullets caused by the lack of skill of these so-called snipers.

This morning, I was able to watch the pageant real-time as it was broadcast via the internet. Thanks to the world-wide web that I didn't have to watch ABS-CBN and be drowned by numerous advertisements. Honestly, I started being pessimistic when the 10 semi-finalists were called. But when our country was announced as the 15th semifinalist, tension built up in me. Swimsuit and gown rounds followed. Philippines made through to the top five.

Then the question and answer. The so dreaded round that people, especially Filipinos are eying on, being too critical with the content, grammar and pronunciation.

If she answered that in a Toastmasters meeting, I'd say that there isn't any correct nor wrong answer anyway. But there is a wrong comprehension of the question. I commend her for standing there with utmost grace, poise and elegance. I didn't feel the nervousness in her face. I like the timbre of her voice. It could have been better had she really analyzed the question more. She could have played with it in a way that she won't sound self-righteous and that her answer won't be more of a series of greetings. She could have just answered it right away by saying that she couldn't have been where she is right now had she not been able to commit those mistakes. Or perhaps cite one mistake and then turn it around by seeing the lesson from that experience because after all, there are no mistakes in life, only lessons learned. Nevertheless, she made us proud as Filipinos. Advancing to top 15 is no easy feat walking in high heels, skimpy two-piece swimsuits and that hideous silver huge gown that might get attracted to a magnet. She has somehow slightly redeemed the bad image that we created yesterday. And I salute you for your "Major, major" performance.

As for those bashers who keep on saying that "Sayang" or that Venus is so stupid, you better shut up. It's not easy to be on stage. Had it been you who were up there, you won't even qualify for the top 15 so better be happy for her. At least she sort of redeemed us from the shame that we've gone through yesterday.

The "Major, major" thing isn't stupid. Not even foolish. Ignorance must have told those people that such expression sounds so lame but no. If you mean what you say, utter it twice. I say "Thank you, thank you" when I really mean it. Only sensitive people appreciate that.

Thank you Venus! You've really really got it.

Beauty Queen

I love the look of my facebook newsfeed this week. MOST of my friends changed their profile photos to their favorite cartoon characters when they were still children. Some did not follow the instruction that they posted a picture of a cartoon character when they were already grown-ups but what the heck? As long as there are cartoon characters, that's going to be fun.

The original campaign goes like this:

Change your facebook profile picture to a cartoon from your childhood and invite your friends to do the same. Until monday there should be no human faces on facebook, but an invasion of memories. This is for violence against children.

And with a creative Toastmaster friend, he changed it to:

Because I care about the welfare of children and do want to contribute to protect them from any type of abuse, I willingly changed my profile picture to a favorite cartoon character from childhood. I hope you will do the same...or else, your human face might be mistaken ... as a cartoon character. Ha ha ha!

That was highly effective because most of the people changed their profile pictures after then.

Then a high school friend, after ruthless criticizing some high school characters' appearance and Facebook posts, asked me:

Mai: How will changing our profile pictures into cartoon characters help prevent violence against children?

Me: It has a psychological effect. Seeing these cartoon characters will carry us to a retrospective journey, reminding us that once, we were also children, and that we wanted to be happy, we had shallow dreams, we appreciated simple things, we showed what love is in the best that we could and realizing this will make us think that the children of today also have to feel the things that we felt and the ideas that we thought of and this will make us not hurt them but instead love them with all our hearts. Since the children are the hope of our nation, the next generation will be full of love. And with that, there will be world peace. I thank you!

What makes an effective and winning answer in beauty pageants is to pinch the audience's hearts by including the the words love, children, nation and of course world peace. Ha ha!

Botch, Shuses and Stakings

While one's hair is his crowning glory (which I unfortunately lost after a few months of being a call boy) , his footwear are his stepping goodies. Being a person who is so highly critical, who studies people from head to toe, I really can't help but notice them from their hairstyle (or hair loss in my case) and hair color, to their beautiful or oogly faces, to the cohesive clothes to the floral blouse and printed pants (the so-called astronauts), and yes, one of the my gazillion pet peeves - their footwear.

Just a disclaimer, I'm not a fashionista. I have my own share of "what am I wearing" moments but I'm more of a safe casual person than a fashion-forward fashionably daring one. In the first place, I don't want to be noticed only because of my physical attributes but because they know me as a person.

These are the things that irritate me and when I say I'm irritated, I want to approach that person, take off what he's wearing, throw it, ruin it, have one truck run over it, or burn it. Worse, I want to stab that person to death so that he would bleed and liters of blood will flow down to what he's wearing. Morbid huh?! That's the reason I changed my blogsite. I don't want to be criminally liable though I know now that plain planning of an act does not constitute an overt act, thus, no crime has been committed yet. But I'd better be on the safe side.

• Boots - I call them botch for some reason that I don't know. My best girl friend endured months of being ruthlessly criticized because of her oogly botch. I even told her that I wanted to throw them away or put them on fire. I could not stand the unappealing chunky heels and the unflattering tip of the footwear. I believe that one can have good pair of boots by simply choosing the right style and it's even difficult to find one in shoe stores, how much more in ukay-ukays? Furthermore, I really think that there are only a few people who could pull off wearing boots - and those are the ones with long, slender legs, not like Charisse who's chunky and short, cutting her short legs shorter. And my God, Philippines is too hot to have boots worn everyday. Unless you're a celebrity or again, you really look good with boots. Other than that, better wear ...

• Havaianas - The first time I saw this brand made me think, "Okay, they're just like the usual 50-peso Spartan rubber sandals I'm wearing at home minus the very expensive name and the high price." I feel it's impractical to wear this brand because it just looks ordinary. Only a few people in the province appreciates this because people are more into aesthetics and not into brands. It's not even that soft. The only advantage that I know is that it lasts because my friend told me that her dog tried biting her pair of Havaianas but there weren't any bite marks traced on her footwear. I'm not that rich and curious to to try that with my dogs. And Bleach is not a bad dog to be biting anything he sees.

• Crocs - My initial impression on this brand was - bulldozer. I would only wear it when I'll go swimming in a beach full of corals so that I won't have another [very] close encounter with another sea urchin and be hospitalized and undergo surgery because of its deadly and transparent spines. Some friends tell me that it's so comfortable to one's feet but my slippers are comfortable so why should I try another one?

• Brown Shoes - Brown is the color I least like. I find it being worn by old people. I only had a pair of brown shoes to pair up with my khaki pants because khaki and anything with tint of brown is better worn with brown shoes (and belt). A lot of men I see wear brown shoeses [sic] with black pants which hurts my eyes. I want to bring that leather dye (lang king) and wipe it to those brown shoes. Ha ha ha! So bad! I see one in the class who does that. Ha ha ha! Another sign of bitterness. I've observed that fashion crime since first week of class but I still didn't dare to tell him. Who am I to do that? I'm not a legitimate stylist.

• Stockings - Although they are helpful to prevent varicose veins, they shouldn't be worn with open-toe sandals. Isn't the purpose of wearing open toes to show the toes and the newly-pedicured toenails? One more thing. Could girls have the decency to clean their feet when they wear sandals? I really think that hygiene starts with one's feet. If a girl takes care of her feet well, how much more does she take good care of the other parts of her body? (wink)

These and more than these are a few of the things I hate to see. I know I still have a lot of things observed but my memory degradation is preventing me from recalling them. I might write a part 2 of this once I remember them. You might have some things to add. I would surely appreciate it.

Reactive

Ladies and gentlemen, I'm back to the same me - the one who keeps on complaining. And here's the letter that I sent to the principal concerning my niece's teacher who appears incompetent to me.

December 14, 2009


(name of principal)
Principal
Butuan City SPED Center
A.D. Curato Street, Butuan City


Dear Madam:

This is with regard to the complaints that I would like to be heard by your office towards (name of teacher) who is my niece’s teacher in Kinder II PM.

My mother should have personally seen you as early as July but since we told her to give the teacher some time to improve, and the child to adjust, as well, we thought of deferring this but little did we know that this case is already getting worse.

These are the things that I would like to comment on the teacher:

1. She does not know how to motivate. The child’s nanny and I had been informed by the teacher that my niece fails to do some writing activities. When asked what she had done regarding this problem, she said she did nothing because she doesn’t want to get old scolding the pupils. I grew up seeing teaching as a noble profession which entails passion, patience and understanding and not some faux occupation rejecting the possibility of being deglamourized and her very lame excuse is a manifestation that she doesn’t have the capacity to handle challenges of being a teacher.

As a product of SPED, I decided to transfer my niece to your school thinking that there would be a higher leap regarding her training which would prepare her for grade one but I was totally disappointed with what I have observed. When I saw her report card, I was dissatisfied with her grades. Sure that they are based on the child’s outputs but shouldn’t we also consider the teacher’s methods which affect the child’s enthusiasm? Tracing my niece’s records, she emerged first honors from her former school and I could well remember how zealous she was in doing every assignment that was given to them. Now, she doesn’t feel motivated to go to school everyday.

I am not fortunate enough to have taken child psychology but my common sense tells me that in every child, there is a different method that would be applied to him. Preschool teachers play a vital role in the child’s learning process because they are the ones who see the child’s potentials and work on his points of improvements. Having failed to do this role weakens the child’s capacity to reach his potential level as a learner. These children may have reached their age of reason but they still don’t know what the outcome is if they won’t do what their teacher instructs them to do and this is where proper motivation enters.

In addition, I think that the second section of their report card wherein their physical activities are being rated is very subjective. How could the teacher just give her satisfactory marks in her writing ability when the child knows how to write without models? Let me point out that those are about the abilities and not the willingness of the child as the questions start with “Can” and not “Will.”

2. She needs to be reminded that she is a public servant. Quoting her, “I am only paid to teach 20 pupils.” This statement then leads me questioning where her sense of professionalism is. I am just wondering how she was able to muster all the guts to deliver that line infront of the pupils’ parents. As what I know, even teachers in FL have more than 20 pupils. Now what does that make the teachers in some public schools who deal with more than 40 students?

3. She does not have a sense of professionalism. I had learned that she had endorsed her pupils to another teacher more than a couple of times because she had to rehearse for their performance for the teachers’ day. I understand that she doesn’t want to put her terpsichorean skills into corrosion but isn’t she paid during those hours that she has been dancing? Should there be a need to showcase a magnificent number on that special day, she, together with the others, should be doing it after school hours where our kids’ well-being is not being jeopardized.

Though she had been directed by the District Supervisor, as according to her, to prioritize the dance practice and that she had properly endorsed these innocent and clueless children to another teacher, shouldn’t she be held liable for any accidents that might occur during the time that she is supposed to be with them?

4. She does not reply to our messages. There had been numerous instances where we sent her short messages asking for confirmation about the child’s assignments, matters that were agreed upon during emergency meetings where we were not even aware about and class suspensions but she never replied to any single one of them. In addition, there had been times when there were no classes but she failed to inform us beforehand, wasting our time and money in coming to school. Had she been proactive enough, she would have gone an extra mile to inform the parents via SMS should there be short notices on meetings and class suspensions.

5. She does not meet the standards of a SPED teacher. Granting without accepting that the preschool does not follow the standards of SPED, you still couldn't blame as for expecting a lot from it because it is part of the SPED Center and it will always be part of the entire entity as one SPED center. Else, it should be abolished or be founded separately. During short conversations with Ms. (teacher) and during PTA meetings, I had observed many grammatical lapses (e.g. “Irregard” instead of “with regard” and incomplete sentences like “You should pay your monthly.”) and interchanging short and long vowel sounds which does not serve as a good example to the children. These simple imperfections greatly affect the child’s foundation in learning which saddens me a lot because a teacher’s incompetence leads to a poor education system that contributes to the problems that are eating up our country today.

In addition, I saw her several times indiscreetly combing her hair and powdering her face in public when there is supposed to be a restroom where she could do her beauty rituals.


Madam Principal, I really think that matters such as these need to be addressed as soon as possible. These are not only my sole observations but of some parents, as well, who, the nanny, had the chance of talking with.

I genuinely believe in the quality of education your center offers to the students and I still believe that the teachers are moulders of golden brains that is why I am giving this feedback in order for the good reputation of SPED to not be tainted but instead maintain its credibility as an institution of excellence as I respectfully remain,



Very sincerely,


Me as usual

It's My Burthday!

Okay. So I'm already 28, single, broke and in the middle of the limbo. But right now, I'm okay. Happy even. Finally, after almost 28 years in the Philippines, I'm able to go to another country - Thailand. Though it's been only for three short days, at least I've been there and that's what's important to me.

Right now, I surely won't say I'm contented with my life. Since when have I been contented anyway? I just want to land on a job that I would like. Being an engineer is out. A callboy is so out. Being a priest is somewhat considerable. Ha ha! All I just want is to let people hear a good, logical and brief sermon... and of course me having great food always.

Seriously, I've realized that it's my childhood dream to become a lawyer. My aunt reminded me how I used to passionately scribble on used cigarette reams. I even have a picture of a barely one-year old me crying when the pen ran out of ink. My aunt used to ask me when I was a preschooler what I wanted to be when I grow up and I said I wanted to be a lawyer.

I also remember the incident when my cousins and I called this radio station announcer to check what's in store for us through numerology. We were doing it just for fun but the radio announcer seemed credible with what he was saying. The right jobs for me are being a writer or an attorney. I cannot make writing as my source of income. I mean, duh, I'm not one excellent writer. I just know how but I am not at par with those great writers I know.

So is being a lawyer the right one? I won't know until I won't try. I'm still 28 anyway.

MS Lives on

The "trip" from the church to the cemetery took more than nine hours. I can't bear that. My back would surely ache. I would have reached Ilocos already.

As for the ceremony, it's when I learned to appreciate Kris' sincerity in her speech. I ALMOST cried (darn, I'm very much insensitive nowadays). I was touched with Lea's patriotic rendition of "Bayan Ko" which really blew me away. Regine had "The Prayer's" Italian lyrics changed to English so that she won't mess up, which I appreciated more than doing the wrong thing. And I totally got lost with Piolo Pascual's number. Fine, it's the eagerness to sing for the late president that matters most.

-o0o-

I'm currently on my advanced communications track and I'm on my fourth speech in the interpretive reading manual. It's like I'm going back to my literature years where I read Khuswant Singh's "Karma" in the short story project, Edgar Allan Poe's "The Raven" for poetry and "Valjean's Soliloquy" from the play "Les Miserables" for monodrama.

Last night, I got to present a play. And in coherence to our theme "Country Service" it's time to pay homage to the Filipino artists who have made our country proud for dominating in this play - "Miss Saigon." God! The time alloted for the project is 13-15 minutes which really made me combine "Who's in Town" and "You Will Not Touch Him" portions of the musical. And since it is indeed a musical, I got to sing the entire piece since it would be so weird to have them spoken.

Though I knew in myself that I really messed up, knowing that Toastmasters evaluations gives positive feedback with some points of improvement, they found it great. Besides, having the nerve to act out those three characters while singing in different pitch, in front of some people is already an achievement. I just needed proper pacing since they've also observed that I was rushing to finish the performance. Nevertheless, it was okay - not great as according to them. And I'm happy that it's over and that I could move on to the next project - the oratorical speech. Which should I choose, Obama's or Cory's inaugural speech?

Tita Cory

I grew up not looking at her with high regard. She's not a hotshot president. Her presidency had a lot of coups, the economy was down, and brown outs. To begin with, I live in a family where an authoritarian leader rules - my mom - who's a loyalist to Marcos.

Honestly I was just apathetic about her death. I mean it's sad that she passed away, but okay, at least it ended her suffering. I wasn't really affected... until this evening when I heard a portion of the necrological service.

A few days ago, people along Ayala Avenue had fallen yellow confetti along the street. TV specials were named "Salamat Tita Cory." If GMA will die, same thing might happen - there will be confetti and there are also TV specials entitled "Salamat Papa Jesus."

Seriously, people address her as Tita Cory not because she's related to them by blood. Being a president with the big heart, she had been the mother of the country for six years. And Tita, because she has been a symbol of a perfect mother for us - showering that unconditional love inspite and despite of all our imperfections.

To you Tita Cory, thank you and God bless. May you continue to pray for our country... and may you poke the head of that old dwarf woman.

Chirping

I'm trying this new fad called "Twitter" and see how it feels to be a celebrity (celebrities do it here). I must say it's easy and user-friendly. However, what I don't like in it is that it has a lot of limitations - the appearance of the page, one can't post a picture, and the number of characters one could type. Brevity is not really my thing so I have a hard time capsulizing my ideas.

As of this moment, I still don't have any follower, and if there would be one, I'm sure it's just a spammer and I don't encourage you to follow me either because... just because you won't like it.

Artist Wannabe

I've been to Cebu for more than two weeks and with a lot of things that had happened there beyond my control, one of them was having my camera lens damaged, I decided to bring the work here. And I was so embarrassed to learn that the entire corporation (I think it is) was the one who spent for my fare to and from Cebu. Given with the pressure that I can make a good print ad, plus the limitations of materials, I have to make it work. Here's what I decided to do. I hope this is acceptable. I don't know. I'm not confident with my work.

What can you say? I respect honesty. Be mean and harsh if you have to.

P.S.

Let me also take this opportunity to promote the said store. Biaño's Homemade Pizza is obviously a pizza business. It sells pizzas starting at 90 pesos (I think) up. Trust me, they really taste well and they're not expensive. Just don't overeat because it will lead you weak. He he. Call them at 3479677 or 09223636872 for deliveries. You may also visit their store at A.S. Fortuna Avenue, Mandaue City, situated beside KUMON and found near Shell gasoline station.

Kiddie Meal

Is my reflection totally different from what people actually see?

It's what crossed my mind when one child, a two-year old girl perhaps, looked at me, smiled, and laughed when I looked back at her. She kept on laughing while I was just looking at her with a blank stare. I thought to myself, is there a big letter L written on my forehead?

Then I remembered my experience in Cebu where, while inside the car, my friend's sister's nine-month old baby only stopped crying and went to sleep after I started singing while using the rattle as the accompaniment. He kept on crying while his mom was the one singing for him. Weird.

Then the one-year old cousin of that child also got closer to me than to her Aunt, who's that friend of mine, and learned a few English words from me like "yucks" with that gesture of putting one's index finger in the mouth and acting as if she's vomiting. She also said "NO!" when my friend asked to borrow her shoes, which, she calls "shoeses" after she heard it from me. Am I really that influential?

Of course, my nephews and niece who are so close to me. My niece would even tell my Mom that she's going to make sumbong to me because her Lola scolded her. And when my sister calls, they would often say, "Is that Uncle calling?"

I am vocal about how I don't like kids but these things make me think that I have given the passion and compassion to them, just unconsciously. Which really makes me ask, "Handa na ba ako'ng maging ama?" Ha ha ha.

MRT

Palagi ka ba'ng sumasakay sa MRT? Kung ang sagot mo ay "Oo," malamang naririnig mo ang mga impormasyo'ng paulit-ulit na pinapatugtog. Kung ikaw ay tao;ng mapagmasid, mapapansin mo'ng karamihan sa mga trivia na ito ay Pilipino o Pilipinas ang bida. Halos lahat ng mga ito ay nagsisimula sa parirala'ng "Alam niyo ba..." at sa kalagitnaan nito ay may malaking "PERO."

Halimbawa:

• Alam niyo ba na ang bansa'ng Pilipinas ay binanggit sa bibliya? PERO....
  
• Alam niyo ba'ng matinik sa mga babae ang mga Pilipino?
  
• Alam niyo ba'ng ang pinakamatamis na prutas na naitala sa Guinness Book of World Records ay nasa Guimaras?
  
• Alam niyo ba'ng ang tagasulat ng (pangalan ng Amerikano'ng Pangulo) ay isa'ng Pilipino? PERO....

Ipinagmamalaki talaga natin ang ati'ng bansa. Mayroon lamang akong idadagdag.

Alam niyo ba'ng noo'ng panahon ay ang Pilipinas ang pinakamalaki'ng bansa sa buo'ng mundo? PERO dahil sa nangyari'ng Great Flood, lumiit na lamang ito at naging pulu-pulo. Pagkahupa ng baha, naging mga bansa'ng Tsina, Estados Unidos at Hapon and malalaki'ng bahagi nito.

'Di ba ang saya?

-o0o-

Too much about that Filipino stuff, I am pairing two single friends who, I think, are compatible with each other. She's a pianist who doesn't want another musician/artist because of mood swings, kind of funny, sweet, nice and very patient youngest daughter. He's a licensed engineer who is so devoted to his job, has a business, a very responsible son, a strict older brother, and quite serious with mostly everything. The problem is he's a devoted Catholic and she's a Protestant. He's in Cebu while she's in Manila and will be flying soon to Pennsylvania for her doctorate. Will my plan be realized? Let's see what will happen to Ian and Michelle.

Adios Kiko

I shouldn't be affected by his death because I'm not really a big fan. Sure, I used to memorize the entire "Mga Kababayan" when I was still in grade school but I never had any moment where I really looked up to him. Fine, I couldn't help but be envious with his high-bridged, narrow-nostril nose and I even thought that he's been suffering from Peter Pan syndrome because he's getting younger. And hell yeah, he's too privileged to become an MTV VJ even if he was above 25 years old (the cut-off age for VJ hunt), or should I say it's MTV who's too lucky to have him. Darn. He he.

It's my luck to have met him personally during my "guesting" in Eat Bulaga where he was the one who asked me to sing a part of "Kami nga mga Butuanon" and gave me the question about my favorite fish - tuna.

Battling with cancer is surely a tough task to do and who are we to question God when everyone of us is only living our own borrowed lives? Sooner or later, everyone has to go. At least Kiko didn't have to struggle with the pain the Big C had to cause him.

God bless you Kiko!