Tired

People tell me I've gained weight and they think I'm hiyang with my job. It's really stressing the hell out of me. Take for example this one case I've had. We're doing beta testing on a new product and right after I installed it, I lost the internet connection. The remaining parts of the questionnaire were left unanswered because of it. This led to the Beta team emailing me about the case, asking me to redo the same experiment.

At first, I replied but since they didn't stop from pestering me with those instant messages popping every now and then in the middle of my cases, I got annoyed so I stopped from replying. One of the things that they required is the debug log. I wanted to submit their names because they kept on bugging me. For Christ's sake. After days of no reply, they emailed me:

Eduardo, I hope your doing OK. It seems that there is no issue on you end at the moment since I have'nt receive any update from you. if this is correct, I will now proceed on closing this case since this is the last day of this beta as mentioned before.

Beta Team

Since I'm an asshole, I wanted to send a reply:

Dear Beta Team,

I am okay. I am actually better now that you've finally closed the case which means you will stop bugging me from now on. It appears to me that you're not okay, as far as English, punctuation and grammar are concerned. Your and you're are different as the former is a possessive pronoun and you're is you are. One of the purposes of apostrophe is to replace a missing letter. In the phrase "Have not," the abbreviated version is haven't, replacing O. Proceed is followed by the preposition with, and not on. You might also need a refresher on the different kinds of pronouns as you and your have their own different purposes. With those, I would feel very much better if you will allow me to open a new case on grammar and I will be closing it as soon as I have seen some improvement on your end.

Very sincerely,

Me

-o0o-

I hate it when my name is misspelled. For a couple of times, I'm getting the same email with my last name misspelled. I planned to write them a letter.

To Whom This May Concern:

I would like to inquire who created the excel file for the consolidated schedule. I feel insulted, and, in fact, irritated, that my last name has been misspelled, not once, but twice, making the very precious CATAYOC to CAYATOC. How would you feel if your last name is BAGAY and somebody interchange the last two consonants?

Misspelling one’s name is a capital crime, and under some countries, it is punishable by death. I don’t want this to happen again as it may turn me suicidal. Hoping for your corrective action towards this demand, on top of a public apology done via CNN, as I respectfully remain,

Sincerely,

Me

Of course I didn't send any of those two letters.

I Deserve

I deserve a job, much more than
stupid clients who can only say Sorry and Thank You
speaking English like a force of habit without sincerely delivering those memorized lines
apologizing for something I don't mean and never did in the first place

I deserve a supervisor
who not only sees my capabilities
not only laughs with me
but looks at me with much depth and sees beyond my superficial laughs
and also bonks me in the head when I need to work my ass
who KNOWS how to motivate me

I deserve to be a star on TV who
can make people laugh with my sarcasm and wit
enriches people's mind power by providing them facts
unravels big personalities' other sides during some vis-a-vis contacts
look better than Boy Abunda, Kim Atienza and Arnold Clavio

I deserve to be on hiatus
where I cease to exist
where I can sublimate
annihilate

I deserve to see my Dad
Not with his blurry images in my dreams
But see him and touch him
And talk with him in flesh
And cry out to him and feel his hug until I'd feel fine

I deserve to lie on a white sand
sleep all day under the sun
as its beams kiss my fair skin
and wake up burnt but satisfied

I deserve to start scribbling my pen
and write a book with some funny random thoughts
or start my screenplay
or even just a short telemovie.

I deserve to sing and act on stage
where I can be a son of a bitch extraordinaire villain
or a gorgeously fragile protagonist
where I get a standing ovation
during the curtain call

I deserve to be a kid again
play patintero along the streets with my friends
or shout shatoooooooooo until I lose my breath
or hide where the it can't see me
or that bahug-baog, or slipper game or whatever
or even as safe as sungka or jackstone

I deserve to be a great speaker
inspiring people with my personal story
hearing my name being called by the chair
receiving my trophy of being the champion
getting blinded by camera flashes

I deserve a pretty petite chink-eyed girl
who can sweep me off my feet with her fluency
and impeccable grammar
playful enough to take me away from the bondage of my stiffness
who can make me laugh and feel light after a stressful day

I deserve a time with my kids
where they raid my room and silently awaken me by just standing beside me
and staring at me
or play with them at the park
or have some photoshoots with them, play dress up and let them emote
finish all the fries, pancakes, fried bananas and everything I cook
and play with the baby powder, or pillows, or what have you

I deserve what I deserve more
and most of all, I deserve because I deserve
a life other people who deserve less.

Silence

... may also mean no. Strike three. No answer. And the moment that I've been waiting for to, at least, let me express what I feel, was disregarded. I'm not insensitive. I don't need to push myself to somebody who doesn't want to waste her time listening to a sales speech of a man who wants to be loved back.

So there I was, decided to stroll around Megamall with my teammate until my feet got weary. I slept on the bus while on my way home and when I reached SM Nork, I pigged out for family-sized pizza from Greenwich. The cashier's face drew some surprise when she learned that I'd be eating it alone. I'm depressed so my stomach keeps on secreting gastric juices.

I asked the crew to clean the table for me. He wiped it. I saw a grain of rice left on the table with some moist areas and some undesirable odor left. I said CLEAN. Never mind. I didn't want to make a scene. After all, it's Greenwich so it's not expected of them to be CLEAN.

So I ate. No, I devoured each of the slices in just three bites. That's how hungry I appeared. No emotions on my face. I just ate. A young girl looked at me and smiled. I stared at her for a few seconds, and tried to give my "truest" smile. I tried. For the effin essence of this commercialized season, I tried.

I finished eating the entire pizza in less than 10 minutes. I drank my Sprite that has already lost its dissolved carbon dioxide because some stupid fastfood staff don't know the solubility property of a gas in a liquid that they decide to serve it before the food.

I left the place, strolled around the mall, and checked the sling bag that I wanted. It's not that great-looking after all. There are only a few compartments and it's only at 10% off. There'll be more sale next time. So I went to this boutique where I've spotted the fedora hat that I've seen more than a month ago. It's still there in its exact rack, waiting for me to purchase it. And it's half the original price. I tried it, I look good at it, so I bought it.

I walked back home, did my laundry, cleaned my room and prepared more mango float for later. Now I'm in my room, contemplating on what happened this day. I'm supposed to be sad but I'm making myself busy to not think of my sadness.

My friends say it's okay to cry and it's not healthy to hold back what I feel. So here I am, with my lacrimal gland ready to release its first drop of fluid through my eyes. And since I'm tired, I must hit the sack, crying myself to sleep, until the last drop will wash away the pain I have felt inside. And my pillow will only be the one to comfort me until I wake up anew, with high hopes that I'd still believe in love, in ever after, and in true happiness.

Goodnight world!

Stone

Suppression is my game. If there's something I've really learned a lot from my CAT and ROTC officership training, it's about keeping your emotions to yourself.

It's been years since I haven't cried. I laugh and I laugh out loudly. I get mad and get furious. But crying isn't my thing nor do I express love and appreciation. It's because I have the heart of stone and a stone-hearted body is all I need to shield myself from any emotional stress that I may encounter in the future.

If there's something that could change me, it must be love. But love is something that I can't have. Not from the girl I like, or maybe love, or choose to not love, unless, otherwise, I will get out from the bondage of this pretension.

Mama

Dear Mama,

I'm sorry that I can't go home for your birthday tomorrow. It's so sad because I've been annually looking forward to celebrate your big day with me doing all the preparations, cooking, dragging you to the salon to have a makeover, buying you new stuff.

But what you taught me was to have a sense of responsibility. That there are still other things that I need to be responsible of other than my family. And that is what I'm doing now. I need to stay here to work and stay with my job because I need to work for my own future.

I could have told you I feel sad now because my heart starts beating again. Sad because things are getting complicated. I don't want to be a part of a competition where my heart is at stake. You told me I need to take courage in everything that I do. I grew up being confident, I won many competitions, people saw me as the most confident person who they have bumped into. But I am insecure when it comes to love. I feel I'm not even an inch compared to any other guys around. I hope you could pray for me. That someday, I'll be over this feeling, if it's not really something that comes from Him. And if this is really love, then I hope I could endure everything and be triumphant in the end.

I miss you Ma. You don't tell me vocally how you love me but it is in your loud voice and piercing eyes where I feel I'm home. It is in your silence where I feel your cradle. I wish I could just go home and hear you remind me of things indirectly when I fail to get out of my room because of mere desperation.

Happy birthday Ma and happy holidays!


With all my heart,

Your Third

Ert

So I have enabled Timeline in Facebook. And this is my cover photo.

On Stage

Once upon a rainy and gloomy late Sunday afternoon, when usually lazy butts opted to sulk in their rooms, perky Trenders’ minds were preoccupied with ideas on what to wear, how to look and what to expect for a weekend party. We had to swerve from our usual routines of attending late afternoon church activities and head towards the altars of Rihanna, Justin Bieber and Chris Brown.

Rainy day on a Sunday certainly makes me down but not on December 4. I thought of throwing tantrums in my room for having that bed weather – of all the seven days of the week! I even thought of not going to the party at all but thinking about the free food, savoring every inch of the fun, bonding with newly found friends in the company, and seeing the girl who I consider as the watermelon of my wide eyes, I think those are enough reasons to get myself kicking. But wait here’s more! If I would be present in the entire duration of the event, I would have the chance to win the Macbook that I have been salivating for all this time. So while praying to all the Gods to make all the cosmos align and reverse the water cycle, I had to prep up, shine my shoes, iron my clothes, and get ready for my much-awaited moment of witnessing the so-called grand party of the company.

So there I was, one of those excited spirits who braved the strong winds and challenged the rain in order to reach the office before 3pm. On the 11th floor, online and Premium engineers were still dealing with their clients while the dancers were still polishing their every move on the 9th floor. Props folks were still sewing those costumes and building those props. I thought to myself, “Could they put up a good show?” Anyway, the Momordica charantia in me shouldn’t care about them. I should only focus on what I could do, and what I could have.

Buses were provided to accommodate the hundreds of concert spectators to make the far-flung city of Pasay more accessible. Finally, after a strong battle with nature’s precipitation, and the heavy traffic, we got to SMX at almost 5pm.

Impact

Sound and lights checks were performed hours before the show. Early birds got a preview of the musical numbers because the performers had to do their blocking. Some carpenters and props men were still even roaming around. Thank goodness to the presence of prompt employees, who were in their concert best attires, waiting for the program to start wasn’t made boring.

The show officially commenced at past 7pm. After the program hosts Rosabelle Castillo-Bala and Juven Edillor welcomed the crowd with some bland opening salvo, dinner was served in numerous buffet tables, with wide choices of delicacies for the herbi, carni, and omnivores. While Trenders were busy fulfilling their gastronomic needs, last year’s Trender’s Got Talent Champion, our very own, “No Drama” filled the air with pop and alternative songs. Winners of the minor prizes were also flashed on screen where I got to spot some familiar names.

When the employees and guests were [almost] through in filling up their stomachs, the first portion of the program started. Senior Technical Manager Jay Yanezza and Mario Robles went on stage to honor the individuals who had made a huge achievement in the community outside of Trend Micro. Tech Support’s Kevin Bautista and McAllen Cacacho, together with the four other finalists came infront, walked the runway and introduced themselves. Each nominee’s profile and taped interview was then flashed onscreen for the judges and the audience to watch. My short attention span started to go shorter until all of the six individuals were invited onstage to answer the judges’ questions. Good thing there’s audience participation when we were asked to vote through SMS for our favorite nominee.

The Talented Trenders

After drawing the first part of the [sort of] major prizes, segment hosts Oscar Abendan and Paul Oliveria took over the center stage to lead the portion. Before presenting the performers, a video of the elimination process was projected in the monitor. I should say being a finalist was already such a huge feat after going through all those series of tests. Each finalist was introduced with an animated audio-visual presentation about the group.

While C3 showcased its hip-hop dancing skills, the bands of Unsigned, Chuck’s Band and Shyr touched everybody’s aural senses with their music.

Intermission

The momentum skyrocketed when the managers and directors conquered the stage during their production number. True enough, it was a grand production number because everybody was so game in strutting his/her stuff, showing everybody’s terpsichorean skills to the tune of the latest popular songs. SVP Tech Support and Site Executive Mitchel Chang wowed the crowd with his unabashed dance moves.

I thought that was it but when Japan’s Sr. Director for Marketing Takeshi Yoshida, in his Santa attire sang “It’s My Life,” I was able to say to myself, “Man, this is THE party!” He even surprised everyone when he took off his costume and transformed into a novelty artist with Bayani Agbayani’s “Ocho-ocho,” with his every step staying faithful to the original choreography.

Concert Artists

Then came the highlight of the show – the department presentations. Core Tech group number one with Chris Brown as the featured artist. I’d say they did great because their every move was precise.

Tech Support people started raiding the front side of the stage with their glue sticks when it was Rihanna’s time to shine. I thought I lost my voice as I was screaming in my headtone in the entire duration of their performance. Truly, the restless weeks of rehearsals have paid off. From the tango opening routine, to Carla Doros’ entrance on the motorbike to the seamless transitions and the well-rehearsed lip synch (I love that mineral water drinking part) to the last bow, the second contestant rocked the house.

Small Groups was the last to perform with Justin Beiber as their featured artist. They need a commendation for making the competition stiffer.

Winners Take Them All

Lalaine Gregorio of Core Tech emerged as the first-ever Trend Idol who bested five others. Unsigned took the trophy as this year’s Trender’s Got Talent winner. Tech Support people went berserk when the judges gave the nod to the Rihanna performance, beating the girlfriend-beater Chris Brown who placed second and Justin Beiber as third. This is the third consecutive year that our department won in this category.

Once upon a Sunday evening, when the skies failed to hold the heavy water, when the breeze chilled everybody’s skin, Trend Micro people had a blast going home smiling, satisfied and slightly sober. I may not have won any prize but I didn’t have a single reason to be a bitter gourd. After all, with all the fun that we had, who came home empty-handed?

The Party-meter – What’s hot and what’s not on the party. Our thermometer evaluates that.

Uppers

• Now that’s what we call concert stage! The set, with LED backdrop and fiberglass floor, equals to those seen on TV.
• Show-stopping dance number from the Managers and Directors with Mitchel Chang as the scene stealer.
• Japan’s Sr. Director for Marketing Takeshi Yoshida Bon Jovi and Bayani Agbayani’s song number proved a lot that officers could offer high entertainment value.
• Trend Micro is a nest of individuals with brimming potential. Everybody’s got talent!!!
• Yes, SMX is far but the company is so kind to provide us free transportation to make things easier and nearer.
• Trend’s big men were so reachable during the party after the show when they danced with the employees. It was very humbling of them to do that.
• The fact that there were slots for guests is very accommodating for Trend to do. Other companies don’t do this.
• Overflowing drinks in many varieties quenched everybody’s thirst for alcohol.
• Raffle prizes were generously provided to the employees.

Downers

• The first half of the program was kind of dragging. It tested the short attention span of the audience.
• Hosts lack the enthusiasm.
• Food, though many, lack the palatability that people we’re asking for. They’re just plain… bland.
• Glaring misspellings and grammatical errors on the Trend Idol AVP (Mettallic, Descrive, What do you think you should...) not to mention the poor quality of the videos with some indie film touch and a backdrop that looks… odd.
• Party started late.
• Party ended abruptly at around 12 midnight without any warning from the DJ. That left us on a cliffhanger.
• The photobooth closed very early. Of course participants opted to stay in the room for fear that their names might be called in the raffle.
• Kudos to some employees who took an effort to look like some concert celebrities such as Lady Gaga, Katy Perry, Rihanna. Some arrived in their normal clothes while others look out of place for looking matronic in their wedding entourage attires.
• Dead air, dead air, a lot of dead air. It’s the hosts’ responsibility to keep the show alive. They could have roamed around the audience to divert people’s attention from the stage while performers were setting up.
• The sound system didn’t work well. There were only mics which made it difficult for the oral adjudication portion for the Trender’s Got Talent. The accompaniment was louder than the vocals.
• I didn’t get the voting system. Days before the event, an email was sent to everybody for voting. But it appeared that everything was scrapped out because SMS voting was introduced at the hall.

This is the original article that I've written. I don't know what would happen after the editor would blatantly censore my write-up.

Free Your Mind

You know that scene in 300 where the texture is kind of glossy, violent scenes are in slow motion and colors are sharp where red is so red?

That's my dream this afternoon and after one hour of sleep, I woke up, thinking, rethinking, and still trying to contemplate on that.

It's a scene where a faceless man was shot close-range at his nape, bullet traveled and got out of his forehead. Same scene repeated thrice as the shot gets closer until it's a close-up of the man's head. Blood spurted out.

That's the similar assassination scene of my Dad. And now I'm about to cry.

Il Padrino

TO ALL MY GODCHILDREN AND THEIR PARENTS:

Don't be hopeful that I'll be like Santa who will be giving you a present this Christmas. Let me count the reasons:

1. I am geographically far from where you are and sending my gifts would be an additional expense.
   
2. I was never in your baptism to begin with and I did not authorize your parents to place my name in your baptismal certificate there and even... though I said no to some of them, there's this belief that one shouldn't turn down a forced invitation to be a child's godparent.
   
3. I am experiencing financial crisis and I believe that charity begins at home so I'd first feed my own needs and luxury, then share with my family before I could share something to others.
   
4. As far as I know, a Godparent's responsibility is to be a second or nth parent to the child in case his/her parents fail to do their jobs., unless, of course, your parents lack the sense of responsibility to raise you properly.
   
5. I am Grinch.
   
6. As a typical youngest and only son, I am selfish.
   
7. I am not fond of kids unless they are cute, brilliant, talented and well-behaved.

Team

As a combined choleric and autistic, I don't believe in the power of teams. I'd rather work alone and be productive.

Today, I will be immersed in one of the challenges of my life - team building. I don't know what will happen but I'm kind of scared. They say be ready to get wet, get dirty and get hurt. I don't know what's at stake. I'm a pessimist and negative thoughts are getting ahead. I don't have a mastery of the environment and being a clumsy child had brought me to a lot of accidents that almost killed me.

And I'm missing our Toastmasters meeting. I miss my co-members. I'm sad.

But wait! I saw Ms. Eye Candy sporting a short hairstyle and she looks amazingly cute and hot. Nobody could dare ignore her transformation. She's so fluffy I wanna die? Kill me. I'm not in love! No.

Loser

Last night, somebody from another division asked me how I was after losing in the contest. My answer? I just said I'm fine. And I meant that. Why?

It is because the moment I joined the contest, I already accepted the probability that I won't win. In fact, there was a 7/10 probability that I wouldn't place so what the heck?

Secondly, I've joined the national speech contest several times and out of those four, I only placed once. It has already been a huge privilege for me to be in that contest.

Third, bullshit as it may sound, I am already a winner in my own rights. I have people who believe in me and that should matter most.

It's not yet my time to shine and I'm so much fine with it. Other people haven't even stepped on the national contest stage so I should already be thankful with that.

And with this, I rest my case.

\tī-ˈtā-nē-əm\

Titanium, Trend Micro's computer security application is, somehow, directly comparable to the real Titanium (Ti) the 22nd particle in the periodic table of elements. I even think that it's the product's inspiration and that's the reason they've coined that product line. Let me enumerate the reasons.

First, this state-of-the-art cloud technology is as light as Ti. Like Ti which can be alloyed with iron, thus making airplanes fly towards the sky because it's lightweight, scanning for malware in the computers makes the users feel a lot lighter as compared to other security products that are stuck with the old means. This is made possible with Smart Protection Network (SPN) technology, in which threat information is gathered from the internet-sphere and pass such information to Trend Labs. Feedback will be analyzed by the engineers and patches and updates are being sent back to users. This means that those malware are already removed and/or blocked before they reach the customers' computers.

Secondly, like the natural element, Trend Micro Titanium also has high corrosion-resistance. This means that the product makes computers highly resistant to threats that might invade their computers even when they are still in the webosphere. The good thing about about Titanium is that it has Interactive Cyclic Redundancy Check (iCRC) that it's checking for similar patterns regardless of the files' name, thus, they still could detect those malware that are trying to conceal their own identities. Therefore, computers are more protected from those malicious applications.

Titanium is always bonded with other element in nature. It is designed to work with Windows XP (32-bit), Vista and Windows 7. The application works optimally, provided that the computers meet their minimum requirements.

Like naturally existing Titanium which has five isotopes, this product also has three ranges - entry level (Titanium Anti-virus Plus), mid-range (Titanium Internet Security) and high end (Titanium Maximum Security). The customers have the option to choose from these packages which would fit their own needs.

Titanium is considered as a precious element like Platinum. Like the natural substance, the security Trend Micro Titanium provides to the customer is priceless. No amount of money could equal the cost the customer spends for the product.

Lastly, Titanium has high strength. Like Ti, Titanium has endured through time, has evolved and still has proven its staying power as far as the security industry is concerned. In fact, it is getting stronger as a product.

Gone is the time when man dreamt of literally soaring high. With the discovery of the element Titanium, aircrafts were able to fly to the tranquil sky. We are able to touch the clouds. And with the cloud security technology, Trend Micro Titanium is here to stay!

Goodbyes are Painful

Andrew and Meri are out of the game. I'm just sad. Everything is too sudden. Meri's failure is a surprise. I mean, come on, he's good, he speaks well and he's smart. To top it all, he's not annoying.

And here is Sgt. Ugly Bilko a.k.a. Palito expressing his devastation that he only got 85% infront of these people who only have 74%. How sensitive!

First Day High

So far so good. I'm feeling I'll stay long or even forever in this company. The guards are not insecure, all the staff including housekeeping are nice, and the restroom is a place where you can rest.

There's a concessionaire that offers food at affordable price. The pantry has clear reception of local channels. THERE'S OVERFLOWING BEVERAGE! From cold and hot Milo, to coffee, to water, ice tea, lemonade, AND SODA (Coke, Sprite, Royal)!!!

Facebook, twitter, Google+, YM, Google and Yahoo mail aren't prohibited. We can use phones inside the office. THERE IS FREEDOM!

I'm already liking it. I'm telling you. Money isn't really everything. It's freedom.

Bum No More

Today, I officially kiss goodbye to bumhood. I'll be working as a cloud security engineer of an internationally known computer security company. I don't know what's at stake for me but hopefully, I'll stay in this one for long, if not for good.

This means I won't have to go home this December. Sacrifices have to be done in order to last long. I'm not getting any younger.

Bebot

You're my first supervisor and the one who held me for the longest time among any supervisors I've had in the company which I chose to hate. I initially thought you're the Miss Minchin type who'll scare me to death and throw me to the chokie whenever I'll commit a mistake or ask you those no brainer questions but I was mistaken. You're the most approachable, understanding and patient people I've known, not only in the company, but in this life that I have now.

I remember how you were so apologetic when you were drafting my cite form because I failed to secure a medical certificate at the time when I was REALLY sick (God, how could I go to the clinic when I couldn't even stand?). Recalling your reaction when I make fun of Fungus and Batlita still makes me laugh but I still felt a little discomfort with you until...

You kept on bugging me with my new blog's URL and after several attempts of rejecting your request, your stalking and hacking skills prompted you to my personal sanctuary where I've poured most of my emotions and let you discover the human side of me. You were so amazed at my multi-tasking skills! And letting me read your blog also made me dig deeper into your personality and your life. And that was, somehow, the start of making our relationship move from something strictly professional to a loose personal level.

TL Bebsie, I would like to thank you for all the lessons and virtues you've taught me. Obviously, being understanding, patient, soft-spoken and being faithful (even though the other one's been a complete asshole) are things that I still haven't learned and I don't have plans of living with them, yet, but you showed me how to do them. I thank you for encouraging me to be at my best, to do what is right, and to keep on blogging because that's what kept me going in Hate-tele-the-hell-I-care. Most of all, I thank you for the wonderful friendship that I'll forever treasure. I won't forget the Starbucks moment, the summer outing, the Fitness First, the back-to-school costume day, the surprise birthday party for you in your swimsuit poster, and the constant blogging and commenting. He he he.

I wish you eternal happiness and love. I hope you'll enjoy your stay in the land where people think is the greener pasture. I hope you'll have the man who will be faithful, forever be kind to you and love you for who you are. So long!

P.S.
I was supposed to give you a hard copy of this photo but my sked didn't permit me to personally see you. And you're leaving too soon. :(

Let's Talk About Sex

Okay, so I'm more comfortable talking about sex now. I'm already 30 for Christ's sake! That should make me open to that topic, but not open to doing it.

I'm having this conversation with a so-called playboy slash chick magnet who wants to paint an image of him as a pick-up artist, talking about flirting and getting the girl he likes.

Fine. First, I don't believe in flirting. I don't put my best foot forward because attracting the girl at your worst is making her aware of who you really are, rather than faking yourself and will lead to something not worthwhile. I have a long-term goal. Flirting usually leads to something temporary.

Second, sex. Personally, I'm not really in favor of any sexually active maniacs who have coitus just as part of their physiological needs. But it doesn't mean I treat sex as a procreational activity. What I mean is, it should be an outlet for expressing love. Because if there won't be love, it won't make us different from dogs mating along the streets, from cats who disturb us from our deep nocturnal slumber, hearing them scream in their orgasms, or from praying mantises who, after their hallelujah moments, end the guy being beheaded. We are Homo sapiens sapiens!

And I smashed his face by telling him that most guys who openly talk about sex and all are either virgins, are suffering from sexual inadequacies, or are physically microsoft down under that they're using being openly sexually favorable as a defense mechanism to cope with their shortcomings.

Commitment

I am Third. I am bossy. I am a perfectionist. I am highly critical. I am committed.

I don't like to haphazardly do things especially when I choose to do them. If I'm obliged to do something, that's a different story. Joining Toastmasters is my choice and I know I did the right thing. Accepting the presidency was a decision, therefore, I must wholeheartedly take the position, and that means sacrificing some things to give my 100% on this role that I'm portraying.

I only have two hands and one head. I can't have everything. I can't do the best of everything. That is why I hate it when people do so many things and can't commit to one thing. I'm not getting younger, and so are they. I want to blow up. I want to rant. I want to tell people to get their act together.

But I decided to keep quiet. Breathe. Eat.

Ang Babae sa Septic Tank

So what's in this movie that consumed a lot of bytes in the cyberspace? I've heard some movie enthusiastic bees buzzing around talking nice (and only nice) things about this flick.

I finally got the chance to watch it last Tuesday and I'd say it's pretty okay. I didn't say it's great. I think it's just fine.

UPPERS

• It's Eugene Domingo! Does it need further explanation?
  
• JM de Guzman, Kean Cipriano, and new face Carizza Cortez were so into their young-would-be-filmmakers-who-are-hungry-for-an-international-award characters so effortlessly.
  
• Cameo roles of Cherry Pie Picache and Mercedes Cabral and the frame switch from one actress to another was really funny. The dicussion about changing the actress, then the cast, then the number of kids and the main child made me laugh so hard.
  
• The Kimi Dora mansion - Although some gigantic photos of Eugene are obviously tarpaulin posters, the English-speaking helpers and the exaggerated richness of the main actress is really hilarious.
  
• The plot itself is awesome. Changing the attack of the scenes from something straightforward, to too commercialized, to musical is something unique. Plus, it is a satire of the Philippine indie film.
  
• It's undeniably funny.
  
• Did I say Mercedes Cabral is so hot?

DOWNERS

• While it really is funny, I thought it lacks a solid storyline. Where was the introduction, the complication, the climax, the conclusion? I mean, yes, those elements were present but there wasn't any clear-cut emphasis on those things.
  
• The lyrics in the musical were intellectually put together but I think that portion, especially the neighborhood dance number, was kind of dragging. I believe that it could have been better performed live on stage instead of being stuck on the two-dimensional silverscreen.
  
• The opening was way too dragging. Yes, it's an exaggeration of independent films, but, I didn't like it. It ate up a lot of time.
  
• I find the septic tank part too forced just to stand by the title. And it looks more of a sewage tank. I also don't understand why the character has to do that scene when it was not clearly discussed when the actress and filmmakers talked about it.

All in all, the movie has achieved its general purpose - to entertain the viewers. I commend it for having a great cast, especially having Uge in the title role. Going for the Oscars is so ambitious but it is still probable. One thing I've learned after the experience - never to believe in everything these paid entertainment writers and celebrities say in their columns and on TV. I was expecting too much that I went home disappointed.

But then again, compared to other Filipino mainstream and indie movies, "Ang Babae sa Septic Tank" is non-conventional that doesn't revolve around corny love teams, predictable storyline, and nudity hear and there that exclaims SEX right inside your eardrums.

Branding

Since I was in elementary, I already knew La Salle, Ateneo, and of course, UP and it was my dream to be part of one of them. Unfortunately, I ended graduating from my ever-so-[un]loved SJIT.

It is so frustrating that some companies' primary qualifier is the school of the applicant. Unless a future employee comes from one of the "reputable universities," then he is disqualified. Little did they know that there are even far better individuals than those who got their degree from those popular schools.

Secondly, they look for people with experience. Don't they know that the reason people like me apply for a new job is for a new experience? How could I have experience when I'm not given the chance to experience it? But seriously, while I understand them that they are looking for those people who are well-experienced in the field, as they think that with experience comes knowledge, a person's skills should not be overlooked nor compromised. I admit I might get to the point of grappling with the winds at the start of a new job but giving me at most two months to learn the new trick will definitely make me one of the best in the company. Based on experience, I could prove that.

Thirdly, I don't know what they are looking for. Could they just tell me why they couldn't hire me so that I would know which part I need to improve on? Damn them!

And I'm still not mad at this so beware. Ha ha ha!