I Am Bad Because I Am, Because I Want to be

I'm not going to cry. No, I ain't gonna cry. Please. These lacrimal glands wouldn't produce any fluid at all. But NO! They just did. And again, they do. And keep on secreting liquid.

I don't want these eyes. And the more do I hate those eyes who look at me with much pity like I'm the most misfortunate man on earth. I don't need your mercy. I've grown up relying only on myself, my family and my friends, except of course lifting everything to the greatest force above. Besides that, I don't expect anything from anybody. And I don't want anybody to expect anything from me.

Tomorrow I'll be turning 25 and all my life I've already accepted that I am not a normal person. I am not sociable. I am not a public pleaser. I don't befriend people that easily. Sometimes I might be congenial but that doesn't mean that we're already friends. No personal attachments - just treat me as one of your ordinary teammates, acquaintances or just some stranger around whose name you can't even remember.

I am not born to please anybody nor am I born to be of service to everybody. The world I'm revolving around is just small, something isolated, somewhere not everybody is not priviliged to enter. Call me selfish. That's okay with me. Fuck the word "camaraderie." It's never my obligation to make everybody happy. If you don't like me, that's fine with me. I would even love to hear you say that to me. But I would never ever change for anybody.

I am not unlucky. I would never be unlucky. I am not an island. I may be geographically away from the people I love but that doesn't mean that I am an island. My being me is the only thing that's left for me and please spare it for me.

Lastly, happy birthday to me.

Enchanted Rollercoaster Ride

1. The ironic faces. Ces and I busy posing as we're boarding for Laguna. 2. Four normal hands and a set of webbed fingers. 3. The view of Enchanted Kingdom from the top. 4. The excited but scared Talakitok on the ferris wheel. It isn't so obvious though with his very big smile. 5. Holding on to the astronaut after getting dizzy with the Space Shuttle. 6. A new yellow shirt after getting wet with the Riogrande Rapids. 7. Learning to drive. 8. Frustrated model along those New York Streets. 9. Equestrian. 10. Take two. The devilish look on the ferris wheel.

At the Enchanted Kingdom, on September 9, 2006, I conquered two of my fears - speed and height. My motivation? I guess it was only getting my money's worth. I don't want to put the five hundred-peso entrance ticket to trash.

It was Sheila's post-birthday celebration and also timely since her bestfriend, Ces, also paid her a visit. I miss Ces, the girl who used to make me blush with her green jokes. I was just so innocent then when she became my classmate, and then became my friend and we shared so many crazy experiences and she transformed me to be the meanest asshole that I could be. Hahaha!

Anyhow, getting to Laguna is not at all that bad. It's very bad. Getting stuck by the terrible traffic jam along Southbound Highway would tell you that patience isn't the only the value that you need. One must be proactive enough in thinking of some funny ways to get rid of boredom - you know, taking pictures on sleeping people inside the van or even those on the bus, singing along with the songs on the radio, and showcasing one's talent in talking too much to the point of losing all the saliva.

We first rode on the ferris wheel, which they call as "Wheel of Fate." For almost 25 years of my life, I finally had the courage to get onto that ride. I thought it's going to kill me but no. It's really nice to be on top of everybody. We even got back to that ride before going home.

Then we went to Anchor's Away. It's a ship-like ride that sways like a pendulum to almost 180 degrees. I felt like my intestines were all mixed up since we were seated at the very last row. I wished it would stop swaying but the moment it haulted, I wished for more. In fact, we took the ride four times.

Then we flew to the Space Shuttle. It's like a rollercoaster but the former's turns are not as big as the latter's. I was very apprehensive at first because I don't want to lose my life with all the pieces of me scattered everywhere. I had never taken that ride in my entire life and I never imagined myself on that ride. The problem with me is that I can't scream. Sheila was even so brave to take the front seat where the momentum is at maximum. Christine (Sheila's landlady's daugter) was seated beside me while Jag (Ces' friend) was alone next to us. Being so conscious with my safety gear since I felt it's kind of loose, I was caught off-guard when the ride started leaving me with no air to inhale. I even forgot to remove my sunglasses. I thought to myself, "Stop! Wait a minute! I'm not yet ready!" But then I had no choice. I felt my brain was shaken that I felt like a blank slate for a few seconds. Had I died at that time, my mom would exert all her powers to resurrect me in order to kill me again. They didn't even know that I went to that place.

Time to relax and take a breather. We got to that Jungle Log. I got wet but not as wet as in the Riogrande Rapids. I couldn't forget how I told Sheila to shut up from screaming that her panties got wet. We ended up buying new shirts for ourselves.

Then we went to those no-brainer rides like the revolving swing and parachutes and my favorite one - the carousel. I felt like a kid again. Innocent but bored, after that adrenaline rush. I even spotted Joshua Zamora of the Maneuvers busy taking pictures of his family.

The Swan lake looks boring but it's definitely physically demanding. My knees and upper thighs got pretty tired of kicking those pedals. Getting to the bump cars gave me the chance to master the ride. Wow! I really enjoyed it that I went back three times. The rollerskater (a kiddie version of the rollerskater) is just OK. After that space shuttle ride, it's no challenge. The splash bumpers (I'm not too sure of its name though) is the boat version of the bump cars. It's pretty fun thinking that only Ces, Sheila and I were on that lagoon while others were just looking at us.

The worst and corniest of it all was the Adventures of Hanna Barbera. After all, it's just for kids but we forced outselves to get in. Even its billboard is grammatically incorrect. It states "Now Showing Today..."

I have more to say but I'm a bit tired (and sleepy) to talk and write more about my experience. What I could say is that the Anchor's Away is just like sex (as if I had experienced it). According to many, once you get a taste of it, you keep on coming back to do it again.

If I would have the chance to go back to that kingdom again, I would love to take it. I even planned to go back there on my birthday. This time, I would be alone. I don't know. I have no definite plans for next week yet. I thought of isolating myself in my room for the whole day with my phone turned off and enjoying a day-long marathon of CSI while eating various flavors of ice cream (yes I have a freezer now). I also thought of going to Ma Mon Luk and have their delicious siopao and mami. Or maybe take advantage of the 50% discount for facial services at Flawless (since they're giving discounts for eTel employees especially on their birthday). Whatever it is, come what may. Basta, di ko manlibre but I welcome presents.