Share Ko Lang

As an official Apo ni Einstein (1998), I adore to learn everything (I mean almost) about my Lolo. To the people who think that I'm crazy, Albert is not really biologically related to me, nor to any of the Apo's ni Einstein. It was just the name given to the top 2.21% intellectually-gifted, fourth year students of the Special Science Curriculum of Agusan National High School. Wherever that place is, basta, it's part of the Universe.

Let me just share to you something about his idea of love. Let me quote:

"Sometimes, in our relentless efforts to find the person we love, we fail to recognize and appreciate the people who love us. We miss on so many beautiful things simply because we allow ourselves to be enslaved by our own selfish concerns. Go for the man/woman of deeds and not for the man/woman of words for you will find rewarding happiness not with the man/woman you love, but the man/woman who loves you more. The best lovers are those capable of loving from a distance far enough to allow the person to grow, but never too far to feel the love deep within your being.

"To let go of someone doesn't mean you had to stop loving. It only means that you allow a person to find his own happiness without expecting him to come back. Letting go is not just setting the other person free, but it is also setting yourself free from all bitterness, hatred, and anger that you keep in your heart. Do not let the bitterness rare away your strength and weaken your faith, and never allow pain to dishearten you. But rather, let yourself grow with wisdom in bearing it . . .

"You may find peace in just loving someone from a distance and not expecting anything in return. But be careful, for though this can sustain life, but it can never give enough room for us to grow. We can all survive with just beautiful memories of the past, but real peace and happiness come only with open acceptance of what the reality is today . . .

"There comes a time in our lives when we chance upon someone so nice and handsome/beautiful, and we just find ourselves getting so intensely attracted to that person. This feeling soon becomes part of our everyday lives, and eventually consumes our thoughts and actions. The sad part of it is when we begin to realize that this person feels nothing more for us than just friendship, we start our desperate attempt to get noticed and be closer. But in the end if our efforts are still unrewarded, we end up being sorry for ourselves. You don't have to forget someone you love. What you need to learn is how to accept the verdict of reality without being bitter or sorry for yourself. Believe me, you would be better off giving that dedication and love to someone more deserving ...

"Don't let your heart run your life. Be sensible and let your mind speak for itself. Listen not only to your feelings but to reason as well. Always remember that if you lose love, that doesn't mean that you failed in love. Cry if you have to, but make it sure that the tears wash away the hurt and the bitterness that the past has left with you. And when it does, pray that it may be the LOVE that will stay. . . and last a lifetime . . .

"There are two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle."

Albert Einstein (1879 - 1955)

Is this possible for a stone-hearted person like me? I don't think so. Basta, share ko lang.

Pedophile

Pumatol ako sa isa'ng bata... but not sexually. Ha ha ha! I just had a face off with an eight year old girl this afternoon.

I had been rehearsing this piece from a Broadway musical since last year and among the pieces that I've received from my teacher, this was the only one that I liked the most. Perhaps because I'm really a big Broadway fan and a self-confessed stage actor wannabe. It so happened that this kid also liked the piece and had been so eager to make it her solo song.

This afternoon, Ma'am Luz made me stay longer so that I could listen to the kid sing and so I did. She said that the child could give justice to the song more than I could so my mind was already wandering scanning through her book of some other familiar songs that I could learn in three weeks, thinking that I would be asked later to look for another song. I've already thought of Josh Groban's "When You Say You Love Me" or "She's Out of My Life." Little did I know that it was going to be a decision time because she let me sing that same piece so that she could decide right away who's going to get the piece. Ako naman, sineryoso at uminom ng isang galong tubig to lubricate my throat. Ha ha.

To make the short story shorter, I got the piece and the poor child would be given another piece by tomorrow (Casper's "Remember Me this Way). Oh well. I was just challenged. Ha ha!

Leaping a Mile

A friend called me up half an hour ago sharing me about some trouble she's experiencing from her former boyfriend's present girlfriend. The latter has been bombarding her with a lot of questions and doubts about their present situation with the guy. The former is already annoyed because I know that she has already moved on, in fact, it was her who called their relationship quits and she's happy with her current boyfriend who I'm still wondering why they haven't gotten married yet. I am starting to think that she's really waiting for me to propose to her. He he he. Anyway, I told her to just ignore the girl or perhaps tell her to stop harassing her with those questions because she's so done with the guy. I even told her to give her that funny line, "You're so annoying. You're making my forehead connote." She just laughed at it and decided to delete the girl and the guy from her friends' list. I hope she'll really do it and silently tell them "You're so deleted."

What surprised me more is that the guy is still not over her. It's sweet to know that the guy tries hard to prove to her that he's worth it. He was able to find a steady job, he's taking his maturity at a higher level, and he's able to express how he feels for her. But it's too late. She has already moved on. If he knows me personally, I would have told him to move on as well and take the experience positively. It's good that she has taught him to be a better person. It's even great that his love was somehow reciprocated. But it's the best for him to move forward and look for a girl who he could love and also who could love him back.

I realized my being a matchmaker is way too much. I sound already sound so assertive. I think I should shut up.

Loveletter

My Everdearest,

The first time you have laid your eyes on me, I knew you loved me. There's nobody in this world who could love me more than you do and I will forever be grateful to you because of that.

You have been behind me in every endeavor that I've had. Though you never said, not even once, that I could do it, I could see that you always believed in my capacity since you show your big disappointment whenever I would fail. You are not the type who cheers for me in a very huge crowd. In your silent prayers, you've shown your support, which I feel more important than anything else.

I could feel that you love me just because it is your responsibility to do so but I won't take it against you. The fact that you are always there for me, behind me, to catch me in my fall to be a shoulder to cry on, is already a big thing.

You never kissed me goodnight nor said "I love you," and I can understand you. For a girl who grew up thinking only of survival, being cuddly and affectionate is already a luxury and a waste of time. Thank goodness to friends and teachers who teach me the value of appreciation and showing my affection that I would be able to share it to my children.

We have had a lot of bad times. You've yelled at me, and beaten me to death and I hated you but I didn't have a choice but to stay with you because I had to. There are many times when logic and fairness don't exist on you and I started questioning God why He sent me to you. I felt it was a hell living inside the house with a monster who can't understand me.

But maturity taught me that all that you've done for me is for my good. And people around you praise you for nurturing me with values and turning me into a good man. I know I'm not a perfect one but you've wrapped me to be a better package than most of the things in this world.

You have been my shield, my pillar, my strength because I'm a weakling. You tell me to go but your eyes say otherwise. The letters you're sending start to be emotional than the usual news reporting. You miss me and I feel the same thing.

Ma, on this day, I pay homage to you as my mentor, my provider and my mom. I used to think that you were not my friend but recalling those times when I felt so down, you were my confidante. Hay, I don't know what to do if you're not around.

Happy mother's day Ma. I wish I'm there to bring you flowers and cook for you. I miss you so badly.

Third