Tired

People tell me I've gained weight and they think I'm hiyang with my job. It's really stressing the hell out of me. Take for example this one case I've had. We're doing beta testing on a new product and right after I installed it, I lost the internet connection. The remaining parts of the questionnaire were left unanswered because of it. This led to the Beta team emailing me about the case, asking me to redo the same experiment.

At first, I replied but since they didn't stop from pestering me with those instant messages popping every now and then in the middle of my cases, I got annoyed so I stopped from replying. One of the things that they required is the debug log. I wanted to submit their names because they kept on bugging me. For Christ's sake. After days of no reply, they emailed me:

Eduardo, I hope your doing OK. It seems that there is no issue on you end at the moment since I have'nt receive any update from you. if this is correct, I will now proceed on closing this case since this is the last day of this beta as mentioned before.

Beta Team

Since I'm an asshole, I wanted to send a reply:

Dear Beta Team,

I am okay. I am actually better now that you've finally closed the case which means you will stop bugging me from now on. It appears to me that you're not okay, as far as English, punctuation and grammar are concerned. Your and you're are different as the former is a possessive pronoun and you're is you are. One of the purposes of apostrophe is to replace a missing letter. In the phrase "Have not," the abbreviated version is haven't, replacing O. Proceed is followed by the preposition with, and not on. You might also need a refresher on the different kinds of pronouns as you and your have their own different purposes. With those, I would feel very much better if you will allow me to open a new case on grammar and I will be closing it as soon as I have seen some improvement on your end.

Very sincerely,

Me

-o0o-

I hate it when my name is misspelled. For a couple of times, I'm getting the same email with my last name misspelled. I planned to write them a letter.

To Whom This May Concern:

I would like to inquire who created the excel file for the consolidated schedule. I feel insulted, and, in fact, irritated, that my last name has been misspelled, not once, but twice, making the very precious CATAYOC to CAYATOC. How would you feel if your last name is BAGAY and somebody interchange the last two consonants?

Misspelling one’s name is a capital crime, and under some countries, it is punishable by death. I don’t want this to happen again as it may turn me suicidal. Hoping for your corrective action towards this demand, on top of a public apology done via CNN, as I respectfully remain,

Sincerely,

Me

Of course I didn't send any of those two letters.