Dear Mama,
I'm sorry that I can't go home for your birthday tomorrow. It's so sad because I've been annually looking forward to celebrate your big day with me doing all the preparations, cooking, dragging you to the salon to have a makeover, buying you new stuff.
But what you taught me was to have a sense of responsibility. That there are still other things that I need to be responsible of other than my family. And that is what I'm doing now. I need to stay here to work and stay with my job because I need to work for my own future.
I could have told you I feel sad now because my heart starts beating again. Sad because things are getting complicated. I don't want to be a part of a competition where my heart is at stake. You told me I need to take courage in everything that I do. I grew up being confident, I won many competitions, people saw me as the most confident person who they have bumped into. But I am insecure when it comes to love. I feel I'm not even an inch compared to any other guys around. I hope you could pray for me. That someday, I'll be over this feeling, if it's not really something that comes from Him. And if this is really love, then I hope I could endure everything and be triumphant in the end.
I miss you Ma. You don't tell me vocally how you love me but it is in your loud voice and piercing eyes where I feel I'm home. It is in your silence where I feel your cradle. I wish I could just go home and hear you remind me of things indirectly when I fail to get out of my room because of mere desperation.
Happy birthday Ma and happy holidays!
With all my heart,
Your Third
I'm sorry that I can't go home for your birthday tomorrow. It's so sad because I've been annually looking forward to celebrate your big day with me doing all the preparations, cooking, dragging you to the salon to have a makeover, buying you new stuff.
But what you taught me was to have a sense of responsibility. That there are still other things that I need to be responsible of other than my family. And that is what I'm doing now. I need to stay here to work and stay with my job because I need to work for my own future.
I could have told you I feel sad now because my heart starts beating again. Sad because things are getting complicated. I don't want to be a part of a competition where my heart is at stake. You told me I need to take courage in everything that I do. I grew up being confident, I won many competitions, people saw me as the most confident person who they have bumped into. But I am insecure when it comes to love. I feel I'm not even an inch compared to any other guys around. I hope you could pray for me. That someday, I'll be over this feeling, if it's not really something that comes from Him. And if this is really love, then I hope I could endure everything and be triumphant in the end.
I miss you Ma. You don't tell me vocally how you love me but it is in your loud voice and piercing eyes where I feel I'm home. It is in your silence where I feel your cradle. I wish I could just go home and hear you remind me of things indirectly when I fail to get out of my room because of mere desperation.
Happy birthday Ma and happy holidays!
With all my heart,
Your Third
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