Friday, July 12

Sex

Virginity is not a curse. In fact, it is a gift. It's much easier to convince people that it is, indeed, a blessing to remain pure before marriage, than persuading myself that singlehood is a God-given season. Oftentimes, virgin people are being chastized of being inexperienced when it comes to sex. They say they've missed half of their lives for they haven't reached nirvana.

Fact, that sex is a great thing... but only after marriage. I obviously sound so preachy but it's the right one. I'm not ashamed to tell the world that I haven't had any sexual experiences with anybody. In fact, like Joshua Harris, I commend all the guys and girls who stand firmly on their moral conviction that abstinence is the best way to express love prior to marriage.

Losers? Look who's talking. Now who has STD's among us? Who has suffered crisis earlier because of teenage/unexpected pregnancy and early marriage? Most of all, who has the guilt inside their head? It's not us, virgins, rather, it's you sexual experts. We're no losers, in fact, we're the winners. We haven't missed half of our life. Instead, we have enjoyed our youth.

Mistaken Identity

My Guilfford-Zimmerman Temperament Survey (GZTS) tells me that my femininity is high but our school psychologist assures me that it's not being gay. It's even better because I have wider understanding with the opposite sex (though their being so vain and slow-moving annoys me). Besides, I'm raised in a feminine environment so, it's easier for me to get along well with girls than to boys.

So, when people try to question or even joke with my sexuality, I try not to be affected but I'm also a human being. I have the hypothalamus which dictates me to be hurt. I hope people won't be judgmental on me... it's better that I don't exist to them than to be known yet my true being is still unidentified.

Year of the Wrath

2011 wasn't a good year for me. No. That's an understatement. Year 2011 was a baaaaaaaad year for me, when I felt I was so down, when I felt I lost my magic, when I felt I shouldn't have existed.

I lost my job, had chicken pox (my gosh my skin), been a bum for more than six months, had my heart broken twice, lost my self-esteem. It's the year I don't like.

But then again, since the year is a four, it should have balanced everything (talk about numerology). Therefore, I should be thankful for the things that happened in this not so awful year.

  • January 1 - Celebrated New Year's Day with my family. How could this be not an awesome day?

  • January 5 - Went to Camiguin for the nth time! What could be more exciting than to spend the entire day at the beach, getting tanned, and having a great rest?

  • April 30 - I placed second runner-up in the Toastmasters International District 75 (National) Humorous speech contest, not to mention the championship trophies that I received during the area and division contests. In the area level, I swept all three categories - evaluation, impromptu and humorous, contributing three medals out of five to our club, making us the most number of medals earned in the entire division.

  • May 14-31 - Stayed in Davao with my sister. It was my first long trip with my three kids without their Lola. Of course, it's extra challenging to be with them as we were along the road but it was a good vacation for them.

  • July 9 - I was seated as the President of Camanava Brunch Toastmasters Club where I delivered my 20-minute keynote speech, narrating my inspiring stories in TM and challenging my members to be at their best. I think it was a well-crafted speech that I was overwhelmed with the standing ovation that I received after I delivered it. Achi Ida even said I'm a young Steve Jobs in public speaking. It was an overstatement but I was flattered to hear that.

  • August 31 - Finally, after a long wait, of being choosy, of being disqualified from the applications, from bumhood, I got hired - as an engineer. Trend Micro is such a great company to work in, with supportive people, extra-challenging training, and newly found friends. I fell in love, got broken, but now I'm okay... I think. But I still have a job and that's important.

  • October 22 - It's my second time to be back in Boracay, not as a vacationer, but as a delegate to the Toastmasters Midyear Conference, where I represented our Division, not as a humorous speaker this time, but as a serious and credible speech evaluator. I didn't place but it was a good opportunity for me to show my sensible and analytical side.


I am looking forward to a better 2012 where I can be stronger and where I could finally find my love.

Burn-awt

Nababato. Nababanas.
Paulit-ulit. Pari-parehas.
Araw-araw. Naiinis.
Sana'y ang oras ay bibilis.
Napapagod. Nababadtrip.
Gusto ko nang umuwi at umidlip.
Ayoko na. Ako'y suko na.
Diyos ko sana ako'y kakapit pa.
Hello there,

Concern lang naman about sa client natin na under those SR numbers.

Eto ung akin na most recent: (Case ID Number)

Under dito ay invalid SN problem problem na nagbigay ako new SN na narequest ko sa isa sa mga TLs natin di ko lang kasi remember kung sino dahil sa karami din ng cases.

Then inaantay ko lang sya mainstall and aun nainstall nga, ang nangyari ay nagreply si client at ganito ung reply nya:

(Letter Inserted)

Nung nacheck ko ung SN nabago which is DLEF-0024-9458-9068-8533, April 1, 2012 ang expiry date nya na nung nakita ko, naedit mo pala ung subscription and this time ung caller nyan is under the name Mitchell Harris. 1-1-531376382

Ang nakakagulo sa atin is kasi dalawa sila na humahandle ng subscription tapos ung caller ko naman na si Lynne Mcomber gusto nya is magkaroon sya ng sariling account sa bagong SN given sa kanya.

Siguro gusto ko lang naman hear out ung tawag ni client sayo sa SR mo kung ok lang para ang siguro gawin na lang natin is magbigay ng bagong SN ulit at iparegister un under sa email ni Lynne Mcomber. Approach mo na lang ako for Friday shift ko which is 12 am to 9am, sumakit na ulo ko eh din a matino isip ko ukol dun, ang gulo nilang dalawa. NAKAKABADTRIP sila hehe.

Respect

It begets respect. Fact is, my Mom worked her ass off to send me to school, regardless if it is not a reputable nor a prestigious one. But the least that a person could do is to respect my hard-earned profession.

I hate doing errands. It's because I seldom give orders. I may have grown up with a househelp but I was brought up not to be dependent to them.

Fact is, I hate taking orders because I'm simply a lazy ass. And I only do things when I want to do them and not because there's a force from the higher authority commanding me to do it.

Fact is, we have two hands. And we are responsible of our own properties. Unless we're born as members of the royalty, I couldn't understand if simple acts of thinking, or getting your one's drink, or bringing his notebook have to be asked from somebody.

This it is and nothing more. At least I'm normal again.

Of Sanitation and Customer Service

My OCD strikes again. Being raised in an environment where money is not allowed on places where food are usually put, McDonald's in Rockwell Business Center Ortigas has got my attention, in a very negative way. The first time their crew member put the utensils on the counter (even on top of tissue paper) for to-go orders, I already got irritated. The image of bacteria crawling toward those utensils disturbs me. Regardless of how clean it appears, it still is a counter. [Some] people place their money on it and it's too unsanitary.

I also remember one time when one of the supervisors accidentally bumped into the coffee section and made those paper cups fall on the floor. She just picked them up and place them back on the rack. It's just funny. Apparently, "wala pang 5 minutes" applies to your store.

I have already told the crew members about this malpractice but they just ignored me.

And so I took the next step - emailing their customer service department. And I was glad I did it. After 24 hours, I got a reply from them.

Last week, I saw the change. They're already using the paper place mat before putting those tissue paper and utensils. That's better. At least I've done those other customers a huge favor - of eating clean food.

I hope all establishments will take customers' comments that positively. And I hope all dissatisfied customers will be proactive in sending their suggestions as well.

Tuesday, April 30

I Have Learned

I miss this tool where I can express myself in more than 140 characters. I have been so hooked into the microblogging world when, in fact, I deserve the macrocosm universe, having a lot of things to say about everything and all.

Speaking of world, the planet of love is such a dense society that I don't feel the need to enter it, as of this time. I don't see the need. Yes, the inertia have tried to move this resting heart, but the force is not that great to put me in motion. After all, it should be me who should decide when to tell my thalamus to stop performing.

I am a thinker after all. I hardly cry a tear when watching those sappy movies. Don't get me wrong. I'm touched by some simple gestures of kindness, of heart-warming stories, of things that create a positive effect, but I am so dehydrated yo have my lacrimal glands excrete fluids.

Crushes will be there. They inspire me to go to work, to attend meetings, and to be dragging myself into places when I feel lazy and tired. But it all boils down to my decision to inspire myself. After all, those sources of inspiration will just go like a flash of light. But I will always stay inside of me, through thick and thin, until death, and I should count on my self and my eccentricities more than counting on other people.

I have learned that I have nothing to depend, to nurture, and to love more, but myself.

Happy new year to myself. Cheers!

Tuesday, April 2

Emersion

I'm new in this team. And it's pretty difficult. People are passive and apathetic and they don't value what they're doing. I don't like the atmosphere.

But this is what I chose and I have to face this challenge. Sooner or later I'll get comfortable with them and I'll be back at my element.

Saturday, March 30

Perception Management

Now is the comeback of self-expression. The great huge self-expression. I have been raised in an environment where self-identity has been hugely encouraged. That one needs to be who he is in order to know who he is. People who PERSONALLY KNOW me understand that I am vocal about everything. Why do this company suppress me from what expressing what I feel? I'm not badmouthing anybody so what's the point? Fuck protecting of your reputation. I don't have anything to protect. I'd rather be hated for what I am than be loved for who I'm not. Goodbye twitter. Or should I say, so long.

Thursday, January 10

Annoying Orange

If I were to die now and God would ask me how many people have I offended, I think it would be more than the number of days that I lived on earth.

The first time I watched TBBT, Sheldon Cooper immediately caught my attention. He thinks, speaks, acts, and reacts like somebody so familiar. My friends are right. I am like him minus the outstanding omnipotence in Physics and the spontaneity in the English language. But when it comes to annoyance, we're of ghe same level. Or I think I may be worse.

My sarcasm has hurt a lot of egos - my Mom, sisters, friends, everybody else. I even saw some people cry and I feel sorry for them... because they don't get the joke. Ha ha!

A friend told me to shut up when I don't have anything to say. But I just can't help it. It's torture!!! So people have to live with my sarcasm and if they can't suck it up, then they have to get rid of me.

Monday, November 19

I Hate Puerto Galera

I spent the weekend on that island and I didn't enjoy it. A friend used to tell me it's basura and she's right.

Puerto Galera isn't tourist-friendly. The pier itself in Batangas sucks. The boat going to the island is terribly hot covered with plastic cellophane to prevent passengers from getting wet. Imagine yourself in an oxygen-deprived sauna for almost two hours while subjecting yourself to lung cancer from those smokers who can't stop from puffing cigarettes.

Then the island. The sand isn't fine. Rocky in fact. There are too many people. Don't expect to enjoy privacy. Those vendors would bug you even in the middle of your meal. Island hopping and any other activities are a rip-off. They would give you this price but there will be hidden charges along the way.

Food prices are too high considering the taste isn't splendid. It's competing with Boracay and Palawan when it comes to the prices but it's not at par with those places.

I don't think I would like to go back to that place. Except when I'll be with a far better company.

Thursday, September 13

Sunday, August 26

We Change

I've been with my clique for 16 years. Some drifted away, most of them are still there, although not geographically. I still consider almost half of them my real friends while the rest are still friends, the type you would casually chit-chat but not the type who you could get deeper to the personal side.

Yes. People change. My friends have changed and so I have. We've grown up, grown old, some got married and have kids. Some flew away and got rich while some feel that they are rich. I'm not in the position to question their financial capability. Who am I to do that? I'm not their accountant!

It just saddens me that the people I used to love as friends are totally different now. Or it might be that they were already like that but the trait was kind of recessive that it only manifested recently.

Good thing is, I'm given the options - to be friends with them or to leave them and move on. I'd rather leave them. It's for the best.

Friday, July 20

Powerful

Just yesterday, I was offered to take the Area Governor position because Cameron, who is supposed to be the AG for this term, resigned. I normally don't say no. But knowing that there had been an issue with the current administration, on how they try to sabotage our home club, everything has to be done according to my terms.

The Division Governor called me up and I demanded for two things before I accepted the position - (1) That the division will NEVER hold any activity that would conflict with our club meetings and (2) for her to write to our President a letter of apology for conducting and planning Division activities on the 2nd and 4th Saturdays of the month.

To my surprise, she just said yes - without any hesitations nor objections. That made me feel so powerful and manipulative. And I congratulated myself. Bwa ha ha ha!!!

Sunday, June 24

The Voice – The State of the Club Address

We love to talk. That’s undeniable. That’s the reason we’re here in the first place. Thank God that we have the voice to express what we feel and help deliver our ideas right before everybody in this hall. But the hypothetical question is, what if, the time comes, when we lose that voice?

Will we be able to stop delivering our speeches? Will that hinder us from expressing ourselves? Will our Toastmasters life become lifeless?

A pleasant morning to all of you, my fellow Toastmasters and friends! Today marks as [technically] my last day as president of this beloved club. And I should say this presidency is one of the fruitful years of my life. Let me tell you why.

The Beginning

In my inaugural speech, I was vocal about my advocacy to help our members realize their purpose of joining this club. My motto – pressure is a privilege. Pressure, as absolutely different from stress, is a positive thing, because with it, one’s potentials can be generated. That is why, I had come up to my term’s theme as “Branding Camanava with Excellence.”

Maya Angelou, an American author and poet, said “I’ve learned that people forget what you said, people forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.” A lot of us have forgotten my being a tormented torpe, and only a few could still remember how I impersonated the great Wilson Lee, but on my case, I could never forget how some people boosted my confidence when they pushed me to join contests. I would like to make that unforgettable feeling of being inspired be felt by all the members of this club.


The Struggle

Admittedly, we struggled when it comes to membership and retention. What started out as 23, has slowly gone down. Some members had to pursue their other dreams, thus, they opted to leave the club. I felt sorry that the club strength our immediate Past President Cameron left wasn’t maintained. I felt I did something that made them leave, or I failed to do something to make them stay. I also thought that there’s something in me as a leader that made our guests decide not to sign up with us.

We want to grow as a club but I realized, we can attract new members and retain existing ones, not by focusing on membership strategies alone, but by nurturing the core of the organization. We need to address the main reason people join the club. Why are we all here?

That is why we had to tailor-fit our approach to each member. We had to help each of us realize our quest for self-improvement. Our group mentoring program, so far, helped us realize that goal. Unaware of the other effect, that also made each of our members feel the comfort with each other, making everybody in this club gel with everybody else that easily, giving that feeling that we are not just a club, but a whole family.

Our closeness is evident in our meetings. We could poke fun with each other without being offensive. We could even get to the point of sharing our secrets. And that created the ionic bond which makes us difficult to leave this club, thus, we were able to retain more members.

The Triumph

To date, our club has completed the distinguished club program with 10 points. To date, we have reached 20 members. To date, we are waiting for the official announcement of Toastmasters International that we are one of the President’s Distinguished Clubs in the entire world, the highest award a club can get. We achieved those goals not because we primarily aimed for them, not because we treat this club as an inverted pyramid institution that only aims for more members and members and members, but because we aimed for quality. We aimed for high quality. We aimed for excellence. And with excellence, everything else that we aimed after followed.

During the term, we had discovered brimming potentials of some members. Camanava continued to produce champion speakers with a new list of names – there is Nice who placed runner-up in the area contest for evaluation. We have Marion, who’s only barely six months with the club, but placed runner-up both in humorous and international prepared speech categories in this year’s speech contest. Karen and Matt continued to wave the banner of the club by emerging as Area champions in the impromptu speech and humorous speech categories, respectively, and runners-up in the Division speech contest. Shall we give them a round of applause please?

To our non-Toastmasters guests, let these champions be your inspiration. They didn’t get those trophies in just a snap of a finger. Our club meetings serve as these individuals’ practice arena in order for them to better themselves as speakers. Excellence is not made overnight. With constant mentoring, with constant practice, delivering of speeches, listening to evaluations, and practicing again, they have emerged as champions. In connection with that, I would also like to thank these people who have wholeheartedly shared their time and knowledge in making us improve as speakers and as a club – our General Evaluators. You have made us see our blind spots. You have motivated us to do better. You have helped us. With that, I thank you.

Acknowledgments

Of course, I can’t survive a whole darn year of presidency without the enormous help of my co-officers. Cameron, our immediate past president, thank you for constantly reminding me to set my choleric personality aside and learn to delegate tasks. Jacques, thank you for your brilliant suggestions and for heading our special events which made them extra colorful. Frances, thank you for ensuring that everything is in order in every meeting and for being our club Ate. Jean, you played a huge role when it comes to renewals. You even got to the point of shelling out your personal finances to temporarily fund for some members. Nicee, thank you for trying to sell Camanava to potential members, radiating that ever-amiable personality of being a princess to everybody. Noel, I know you spent a lot of money for the text blast. You are my ever reliable shock absorber. Thank you. To Karen, my right-hand, and my successor. We produced 4 competent communicators, 2 advanced communicators and 2 competent leaders because of your assistance. And of course, Zaldy, my mentor, and our area governor, I thank you for the constant reminders of my responsibilities for the club, for making me aware that my personality and attitude have to change for the good to become a better leader, for putting my feet back on the ground. Ladies and gentlemen, these individuals deserve your thunderous applause.

Most importantly, I would like to thank all the members of this club. You are the reason, we, officers persevere to make our meetings interesting. We couldn’t afford to lose you. Without getting to the midst of my hyperbole, a threat that you will not renew pains me so much. You have been dear to me and I would like to thank you, for choosing Camanava, among hundreds of other clubs in this metropolis. Every meeting makes us work on to give you a valid reason that you made the right choice of signing up with the club. Thank you!

What’s More?

Now that the core of the club has been well-established, we have decided to bring this out of Toastmasters and share what we’ve learned from our manuals. Camanava Brunch Toastmasters Club will leave a mark to our community by starting to do community outreach project next week by sharing inspiring and entertaining stories to those less-fortunate, sick and abandoned kids in an orphanage. It is our purpose of sharing our talents and skills to these kids and make them feel even a bit of fun that we have been constantly sharing with in our every meeting.

The Security

Fellow Toastmasters and friends, these highlights and milestones make me realize that sooner or later, if we would lose our voices, we don’t need to worry because we have already left an imprint to other Toastmasters, and we will be leaving another imprint to the children outside of Toastmasters. Because I believe that our voices are infectious and they multiply. As what Barry Manilow said in his song, “It takes just one voice and everyone will sing.” That one becomes two, then two become four and before we know it, we have influenced and touched other peoples’ lives in one way or another, and that we teach them that it’s not paying back that will make them better individuals, but it is in paying forward where they can generate more voices.

On this note, as the outgoing club president, I bequeath my responsibilities to Karen as the incoming president. Support her the way you supported me, not only because she is way nicer than I am, but because like me, she also has a lot of plans for our club. Fellow Camanavans, my name is Eduardo R. Catayoc III, your humble president. It has been a pressure to be at this position for a year, for leading the club in branding it with excellence, but you know what, it has been more of a pleasure for me to have served you.

(To be delivered before my club later this morning. Good luck to me)

Saturday, May 5

Snob

I woke up so early the other night. Somebody undefined called me up at 1230am and looked for Danny. In my very low bedroom voice, I asked "Danny? Who's Danny?!"

If you could imagine me saying that, with my wide eyes, great. If you don't, no problem.

Anyway, she texted me yesterday morning, apologizing. I said that was okay. It was an honest mistake and carelessness of dialing the wrong number. But she asked if she could call me. I ignored her message.

Evening came and she asked again if she could call me. I said what for? She said she wanted to talk. This was what I replied:
Unless there's something VERY important that we need to discuss about, I don't see any sense talking with each other... And by the way, I would be thankful if you could remove me from your contact list. :)


Honestly, what would the phone conversation be for? I'm not that desperate to get into a relationship. I don't want stranger friends. And Idon't need any textmate. I'm too old for those stupid games.

Saturday, March 24

Waiting

Some things are best tasted when well-done, cooked under low fire, prepared for a looooooooong time.

I spoke with our Senior Operations Manager yesterday, presented our training module, and he appeared supportive. He's not really impressed but he approved the proposed module, with some suggestions, of course.

Next week, I'll be training my fellow engineers and I'm excited and pressured. But I'm more excited. I feel it's worth the wait.

Which leads me to thinking that my lovelife will also be worth all the patience I have.

Friday, January 20

Tired

People tell me I've gained weight and they think I'm hiyang with my job. It's really stressing the hell out of me. Take for example this one case I've had. We're doing beta testing on a new product and right after I installed it, I lost the internet connection. The remaining parts of the questionnaire were left unanswered because of it. This led to the Beta team emailing me about the case, asking me to redo the same experiment.

At first, I replied but since they didn't stop from pestering me with those instant messages popping every now and then in the middle of my cases, I got annoyed so I stopped from replying. One of the things that they required is the debug log. I wanted to submit their names because they kept on bugging me. For Christ's sake. After days of no reply, they emailed me:


Eduardo, I hope your doing OK. It seems that there is no issue on you end at the moment since I have'nt receive any update from you. if this is correct, I will now proceed on closing this case since this is the last day of this beta as mentioned before.

Beta Team

Since I'm an asshole, I wanted to send a reply:

Dear Beta Team,

I am okay. I am actually better now that you've finally closed the case which means you will stop bugging me from now on. It appears to me that you're not okay, as far as English, punctuation and grammar are concerned. Your and you're are different as the former is a possessive pronoun and you're is you are. One of the purposes of apostrophe is to replace a missing letter. In the phrase "Have not," the abbreviated version is haven't, replacing O. Proceed is followed by the preposition with, and not on. You might also need a refresher on the different kinds of pronouns as you and your have their own different purposes. With those, I would feel very much better if you will allow me to open a new case on grammar and I will be closing it as soon as I have seen some improvement on your end.

Very sincerely,

Me

-o0o-

I hate it when my name is misspelled. For a couple of times, I'm getting the same email with my last name misspelled. I planned to write them a letter.

To Whom This May Concern:

I would like to inquire who created the excel file for the consolidated schedule. I feel insulted, and, in fact, irritated, that my last name has been misspelled, not once, but twice, making the very precious CATAYOC to CAYATOC. How would you feel if your last name is BAGAY and somebody interchange the last two consonants?

Misspelling one’s name is a capital crime, and under some countries, it is punishable by death. I don’t want this to happen again as it may turn me suicidal. Hoping for your corrective action towards this demand, on top of a public apology done via CNN, as I respectfully remain,

Sincerely,

Me


Of course I didn't send any of those two letters.

Thursday, December 29

I Deserve

I deserve a job, much more than
stupid clients who can only say Sorry and Thank You
speaking English like a force of habit without sincerely delivering those memorized lines
apologizing for something I don't mean and never did in the first place

I deserve a supervisor
who not only sees my capabilities
not only laughs with me
but looks at me with much depth and sees beyond my superficial laughs
and also bonks me in the head when I need to work my ass
who KNOWS how to motivate me

I deserve to be a star on TV who
can make people laugh with my sarcasm and wit
enriches people's mind power by providing them facts
unravels big personalities' other sides during some vis-a-vis contacts
look better than Boy Abunda, Kim Atienza and Arnold Clavio

I deserve to be on hiatus
where I cease to exist
where I can sublimate
annihilate

I deserve to see my Dad
Not with his blurry images in my dreams
But see him and touch him
And talk with him in flesh
And cry out to him and feel his hug until I'd feel fine

I deserve to lie on a white sand
sleep all day under the sun
as its beams kiss my fair skin
and wake up burnt but satisfied

I deserve to start scribbling my pen
and write a book with some funny random thoughts
or start my screenplay
or even just a short telemovie.

I deserve to sing and act on stage
where I can be a son of a bitch extraordinaire villain
or a gorgeously fragile protagonist
where I get a standing ovation
during the curtain call

I deserve to be a kid again
play patintero along the streets with my friends
or shout shatoooooooooo until I lose my breath
or hide where the it can't see me
or that bahug-baog, or slipper game or whatever
or even as safe as sungka or jackstone

I deserve to be a great speaker
inspiring people with my personal story
hearing my name being called by the chair
receiving my trophy of being the champion
getting blinded by camera flashes

I deserve a pretty petite chink-eyed girl
who can sweep me off my feet with her fluency
and impeccable grammar
playful enough to take me away from the bondage of my stiffness
who can make me laugh and feel light after a stressful day

I deserve a time with my kids
where they raid my room and silently awaken me by just standing beside me
and staring at me
or play with them at the park
or have some photoshoots with them, play dress up and let them emote
finish all the fries, pancakes, fried bananas and everything I cook
and play with the baby powder, or pillows, or what have you

I deserve what I deserve more
and most of all, I deserve because I deserve
a life other people who deserve less.