Inirapan Ako

Remember the teacher who I complained to the principal? I finally met her again in my niece's classroom. The principal decided to transfer the child to another class where the potentially fast learners are found and where one excellent teacher supervises.

Let me give you a flashback first. On December 21, our neighbor, whose number was registered when my niece was enrolled in the school, got a text message from the teacher inviting me to meet with the principal. I snubbed it because it's so unlikely for the one who's accused to summon the complainant. Plus had she been professional enough, she should have asked for my number from our neighbor to have me directly contacted. I had given my numbers (my mobile and home phone) to the principal's secretary but to some reason, they weren't able to have it.

January 4 came and the kids were back to school. Lilet, their nanny, was told by the teacher that she wanted to see me. And then she said in Visayan, "Who is he? What is his rank? I could sue him for what he did."

I got totally pissed. I felt my head was really very hot. And then my entire body went more than 36.7 degrees Celsius. I had a fever. A high fever even. And I suffered for six days vomiting, shivering, and losing my appetite. With no health insurance, I had to endure it. Plus, I felt secure that I have a mom with me. I miss this - my mom taking care of me and checking me every now and then. I already got paranoid that I thought I might have dengue or typhoid or UTI (which is so improbable with my camel-like attitude in drinking water) but I got okay on Sunday.

Monday came. Still pale and a little dizzy, I went to school. After some discussions, the principal suggested to have the child transferred to another teacher. With my mom's approval, Gwen was transferred to a morning school on Wednesday, January 13.

Back to the present. When I went to school to fetch Gwen, I saw her former teacher who gave me those stabbing eyes that might tear me any minute. I just looked at her with my more sarcastic face. Tapos inirapan niya ako. The nerve.

I thought of not writing her name to protect her reputation but after the glaring unprofessionalism that she exhibited, it is but right to give this bitch a dose of her own medicine. Miss Arlyn Jane S. Cordova, you don't deserve to be a teacher. You don't deserve to be a part of the SPED. You should go to the mountain and plant camote.

Diva

I never knew how to make hats until my niece ordered one from me.

After seeing an episode of "The Sweet Life" where Lucy introduced some mini hats made by this designer I ruthlessly criticized in my previous post (PBB), Gwen told me that she wants one of them. Knowing Butuan whose ten years behind everything including fashion, I wasn't able to find one mini hat so I had to make one.

After two days of doing my specialty which is papier mache, painting and gluing some tulle and adding the dramatic cabbage rose with feathers, voila, I had created a mini hat that is not that mini and looks like a homework. Ang pangit. My niece loves it so she wore it in her Christmas party where she wasn't enjoying at all.

They were told to bring a star. While her classmates had those made of cardboards and some had those blinking wands, she brought the one for our Christmas tree because it's gold and it has an angel in the middle of it. I really love her idea of being different. A month ago, she chose to draw 40 umbrellas when their teacher assigned them to draw 40 objects. Her yaya told her to draw hearts because it's easy but she asked me to teach her how to draw an umbrella. That's thinking out of the box.

Anyway, the party ended with her only eating half a slice of chiffon cake and a cone of ice cream. She didn't touch the spaghetti and some other food because she knew that they don't taste good and she's right. They are awful. She didn't join her classmates picking those candies saying "Candies lang. They cause tooth decay." Vain. And the way to motivate her to do some stuff like finishing her meal or taking a nap - for her to grow tall and become a beauty queen.

A Long and Whining Road

Most of the time, I've accepted that I'm an irresponsible person. Most of those times, I believe that I'm born with anger and fury but I don't have the courage to vent out my anger. I don't speak up. I just mumble in one corner because I know that I'm just a voice and that I couldn't be heard. I am right.

I'm quite confused why I belong to a family where I find myself lost in the middle of nowhere. Yes, I don't have a father. I know that. It's not the problem. OK. I admit. It affected my development as a boy but who cares? I would have been a worse person had my father been alive. See what I mean?

This family is totally dysfunctional. Having an eldest sister who thinks nothing but lust and selfishness is a pain in the ass. What she feels is never love. If I have the power and the money, I would hire a person to gun her down together with her ugly, jobless, vicious asshole husband. They don't deserve a space in this world. I should not feel hatred for her. It only means that I still have something for this worthless sister, and I hate myself for that. Hatred is not the absence of love, it is indifference.

I'm beginning to hate my mother now. I don't understand how menopause makes the hormones take control of one's logical capacity. What I know is that she's losing her ability to decide what is right, what is just, and what is due for her family. She keeps on disappointing me with her poor discernment, her wrong setting of priorities, her unwise decisions.

While I am aware that her life has been an almost 58-year old telenovela, I just don't get it why she is shedding off her supposed responsibilities and pass them all to us when we, her children, have never asked her at all to be born in this crazy world. I don't understand why most parents are like that. And I hate it more when she's passing all her frustrations to her children.

I'm just disappointed how she reacts to the expenses she's been having for the kids. I don't like it how she complains about the kids' tuition fees when she even has the money to send Ling-ling, her beloved daughter who doesn't even possess even a taint of her blood, to a private school. I don't understand it why she doesn't pressure Ate Eden to look for a job to raise her kids. I hate her for choosing Lingling over Ate Doreen. I hate it more for acting like she's God that she doesn't even made any effort to reconcile with her daughter. I don't understand why I have to do this when I also have a life of my own.

I don't understand why she chose to make Ate and I unworthy of her love and respect. Honestly, if I were to have only one wish for Christmas, it would be her reconciliation with Ate Doreen. I hope it will be realized. I seldom ask for something and I hope I would be heard.

My brain does not work right now. I think I'm getting insane. I need fresh air where I could smoke.

Sunday Sobs

I won't have to go into details but aside from the sad and old songs played on the radio, there were things that I had realized. From the Kerygma Feast to the bonfire to going home, there were some truths that made me contemplate on matters that I've been ignoring.

• We create our own miracles. Aside from prayers, we also need actions. The need for a miracle made my Mom decide to pray too hard and look for money in order to buy for my medicines when I was unconscious for three days after a vehicular accident.
  
• Miracle made me pass the board exam. My family's enormous prayers, my sense of focus and self-motivation worked hand in hand in making me become an engineer.
  
• People had gone into deeper shit than I had. I should feel blessed.
  
• The earth is just a tiny speck compared to the entire outer space. I am too much small compared to the entirety of this vastness called unexplored universe and should remind myself that the world doesn't revolve around me.
  
• It feels awkward when you don't have anybody to interact with when the speaker tells you to talk to somebody beside you. Though I didn't feel embarrassed knowing that nobody saw me sobbing, I think I would have felt better had there been a friend who comforted me at that time.
  
• I am emotionally weak. I am so safe with my life that I don't want to be bruised. I'm missing a lot.
  
• People look at me with high regard but I still think I'm nothing compared to a lot of people. But I am still very much proud of myself.
  
• I learn so much less about life. Thanks to people who tell me what life is.
  
• I would like to thank people who teach me things that I need to learn. Whoever you are, you know it. You have all contributed to my growth as a person.
  
• I am very much idealistic when it comes to love. Do I need to compromise some things?
  
• I am still immature. I need to grow up.

Some of these realizations made my eyes start welling while having the fellowship without me knowing. Somehow, it made me feel lighter. It made me happier. It made me a better person.

Asshole Number 2

This is Chris-chufer Subijano. He says he is an engineer and wants to be a lawyer someday. He USED TO be my friend in Beda to the point that I've confided my problems with him. Too bad. He's worse than any gossiper from a slum area because he talked about me behind my back to the point of making fun of me. I felt betrayed that I wanted to literally stab him. It saddened me big time because I choose my friends and it turned out that I got a very bad choice.

Along with leaving San Beda, I also took the lesson learned to not trust anybody just like that. There are only a few guys in this world who are real and he's not one of them.

What pissed me this evening is when Sha sent me a transcript of her conversation with Chris. He was so rude to my other classmate and he included me in their discussion which made me think, what is his problem with me?

Here's their conversation and my comments (which are not included in the conversation) are written in italics:

Him: bading si r*m? puta sabi ko na nga ba e
Sha: di mo lam?
Him: naaamoy ko lang (Bading rin kasi siya. It takes one to know one.)
Sha: haha. american yung bf niya. pumunta nga dito nung oct e :D:D
Him: sabi ko na e. nye! kaya pala di nakapag finals. natira sa pwet. wahahahaha. (Just imagine if all lawyers will think and say this way, ano nang kinabukasan ng bansa natin?)
Sha: OMGGGGGGGGGGGGG
Him: tangina kaya pala magkasundo sila ni third (At biglang nasali ako.)
Sha: GAGOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
Him: lol
Sha: excuse me di bading si third
Him: bading yun. di pa lang nya alam (Wow! Kilala niya ako.)
Sha: noooooooooooo. :\:\ may girlaloo na yon ngayon (Sha, wala pa. Huwag mo akong pangunahan. Ha ha ha!)
Him: madaming ganyang kaso. madami na ako nakilalang ganyan. mga late bloomer case. it's either nilalabanan nya ang feelings or tinatago or ayaw i admit. (At isa na si Chrischufer Subijano dun)
Sha: no i dont think he's like that. xempre kami din alam namin yan almost 90% ng lalake sa UP bading haha!
Him: i have a lot of friends who are psychologists and handling such cases kagaya ni third na lumaking walang father figure or kuya figure and 8 out of 10, nauuwi sa pagiging bading (Wow! Very substantial statement with some statistics and research from so-called psychologist friends. Bakit kaya di nila natingnan si Chris?)
Sha: lol we also have a lot of psychologists in UP :P:P
Him: and the rest, eh napaglabanan
Sha: yeah but dont judge them agad. anton also grew up without a dad
Him: mas nakakasama ko si third pero kasi si anton malamang may barkadang lalaki
si third wala. puro babae ang kaibigan nya nung hs (I have guy friends and they're still my friends and I'm so happy to have them until now and I'm so glad to have chosen these friends)
Sha: kausap ko si third lagi di niyo lang alam...
Him: kausap mo lang
Sha: uhm, no. that's not true. >.> di lang girls friend niya
Him: ako katabi ko gabi gabi. lol
Sha: tsk but there's a big difference cause i dont want to say
Him: basta paninindigan kong bakla siya. (I should say good luck boy! You'll get older and die with that feeling of void in your life that you're disappointed because your assertion is wrong.)

Now tell me if he's not an asshole.

P.S.
He boasts of his "speaking engagements" in HIS church, talking about God. Talking about walking the talk? Tsk tsk. I really pity him. His is such a desperate and hopeless case.

P.P.S.
I'm really wondering what's in it for him if I'm straight, gay, bisexual, transgender or even a female? Will it make him a better person or in his case, will it make him look handsome or lose his weight and make his tummy small? I have three hypotheses why he spends time "researching" about me.

1. He is insecure at me that's why he keeps on hitting on me.
   
2. He might be gay and what he's doing is projection method.
   
3. He likes me and that disgusts me.

Plan B

About seven years ago, this college female friend presented to me her proposal that I didn't accept. Honestly, it caught me off-guard the first time I heard it from her. I didn't know what to say. I wasn't even sure how to react to it. But knowing her comic style, I didn't take it seriously. Do you want to know what kind of proposal is that? It's more serious than business. Closer to marriage proposal but it's somewhat funny - a back-up plan. She wanted to get married to me by the time she'll be 30 and both of us are still single.

I took it as a joke but with her constant reminder even when we talk it over the phone or through chat, I felt that she's getting more serious. Though she keeps on telling her friends that getting married to me is incestuous, I still think that there's a fine grain of truth in her joke and seriously, it's making me scared.

A couple of years ago, I told my Mom about it. And even my sister. Ate Doreen didn't react but my Mom, as expected, took it negatively. Perhaps it's because she was NEVER behind any ideas that I presented (and that made me realize why I feel I can't be a successful salesman) or maybe she thought it was a silly thing to do, or probably she's just my antagonist who wants to go the other way.

The scary part is, she is already 30 and we are still both legally single. I fully remember how her boyfriend reacted so violently when I told him (through SMS) to marry her because she might go for me in the end. I wanted to pressure him but apparently, they don't have plans of getting married yet. Or never. I just learned from her a week ago that her feelings have started to drift from him. As you know, my feelings for Cris is growing and I want to keep on cultivating it, I just don't know how.

This evening, I had a conversation with some friends and one of them is her brother. As I was talking about Cris, he just asked me "Why not Manang (Ate)?" and it made everybody laugh. Honestly, I really couldn't imagine this friend to be my lifetime partner. I mean she's undeniably intelligent, she's caring, she's kind of OC, resourceful, and she knows a lot of things. It's just that she's not really my type. We're both Virgos and our personalities clash. We're both perfectionists, too opinionated and we are not expressive when it comes to love. We are also opposites in such a manner that we keep on arguing. She keeps on nagging at my being a tornado (while cleaning my clutter). She points out my smelly body and feet which makes her sound like my older sister and I couldn't help but pay attention to her legs that are full of scars (Ha ha ha! Bad). She teases me for my vanity while I criticize her for her lackness from sense of style. She chastises me for investing on things that won't give me a clear-cut return on investment (i.e. voice lessons, Toastmasters) while I tell her that all her businesses never prospered. She makes fun of my scoliotic figure while I always tell her to lose weight. In short, seeing us together is a total riot. We are too noisy (in a very irritating way) that sometimes I choose to get inside my room and plug my ears while she keeps on talking. The only rest we have is when we're on cold war until one finally gives up and patch things up. And the cycle goes on and on.

I think that the back-up plan is silly but practical. But then again, I still want to get married to the girl I love and not to the one who I think could just give me security. But then again, I don't know what's in store for me, for us. One day, I might see myself receiving her hand and kissing her lips at the altar infront of some people we both treasure. But as of this time, that thought makes my face look like I have diarrhea.

Leche

Remember the previous blog that I posted wherein I won over a child in a face-off for a song? Well, I was told by my teacher yesterday through SMS that I would be singing another song - a Spanish one - which I really don't feel like singing. The reason? That brat didn't want to sing "Sa Ugoy ng Duyan" (which I really loved to sing anyway when I was still in the children's choir as it was a contest piece in NAMCYA).

Since she's a kid, and I'm this 27-year old person who has a better understanding, I should be the one to give way and learn this song in a week's time. Waaa! Good luck. What sores me is that foreign songs are difficult to properly pronounce and memorize and being unable to understand the language makes me difficult to give justice to whatever emotion the song warrants for.

On a brighter side, and on the boastful side of me, I thought that my teacher trusts me enough that she has given me a difficult song and the word "bravissimo" demands for a grand performance. God! What have I done to suffer like this?

I'm Having High Blood and Heart Attack

Wala bang technology na puwedeng lumusot ang bala sa telepono at tatama sa mapurol na utak ng bobong kustomer na 'to?

I'm pissed. Again? Bakit hinayaan ng Diyos na mabuhay at magparami ang mga taong walang utak? Bakit?

Pride and Prejudice

All my life, I have been so proud that I am a very choosy person specially when it comes to choosing my friends. I'm hard to be pleased but when I've found one, I treat such friendship as a very precious crystal. I don't want to come to a point that I would have to blame myself for having a very poor choice, nor would I regret that I've established a special relationship with that person.

When the word sorry is uttered, it should be meant... and I always mean it. I don't want to hold grudges to people but my photographic memory doesn't allow it.

If I would say sorry again, I won't say it to anybody else but for myself. I'm so sorry that I've disappointed myself - for lowering myself too much, for getting into some people's lives, and for choosing the wrong people as my friends.

Pride is something that I don't possess. I used to think that. But I've just realized. I still keep some pride for myself. And I have to stay this way. I don't give a damn on what people say. It is but fair for me to give myself a little credit for keeping the self-respect I had long established. Will I care if I'm alone? No... for I know that I can't be alone. I could still count on a lot of real and true friends. The kind of people who won't mock me for who I am, people who won't blame me for their misfortune, the kind of people who could treasure me as somebody precious to them.

Party Animals, etc.

Being an anti-social that I am, I obviously love parties, meeting lots of people, enjoying everybody's attention, drinking, dancing, merry-making. Wow! That's my life.

I still feel that I'm having sore throat for that very harsh vodka that I was pressured to drink last night. It was only worth 400 bucks so just imagine how it tastes like.

We had our shift party at a clubhouse in Visayas Avenue that looks like where "Lady in the Water" was set. The pool looks too creepy, lights are so dim, the pool floor's paint isn't luminous, water doesn't even move and it doesn't have light at all. Add it with rumors saying that a barangay tanod was killed and dumped there.

Food-hungry cats are everywhere. Female Anophilis minimus and other species of the same genus are flying everywhere, has consumed a lot of volume of my blood and don't have any other plans but to suck my blood vessels dry. Waiters are wearing beige long-sleeved shirts that they look like security guards and their faces look like goons. Some chairs are wet.

And what was supposed to start at 6:00 p.m. actually started at past 8:00. Blame it to the superiors whose watches are set at a different time zone.

It was only then that I understood that professionalism and being on time only happen at work. I hate to be waiting for hours. It's a shame for the subordinates to be waited by their supervisors but it's more of a shame for a superior to be waited patiently by his subordinates. Anyhow, at least that wait could have been worth it had those people prepared the program, the sound system and stuff for that "party" but no. Thanks to some agents who have brought their guitar and amplifier. At least, they were able to grab my hard-to-get attention by singing along with them for a few minutes. I could just laugh remembering that I was sort of playing "name the tune" since the guitar accompaniment was a lot louder than their vocals. There wasn't any mic provided.

That just ended me up being stuck with those pervert teammates who kept on pressuring me on getting into a relationship. Unfortunately for them, my idealism when it comes to that matter is already fully established so they weren't able to tapple down any of my beliefs. As for the rebuttal to their arguments, I'm saving it for my next post. Thank goodness my cellphone has solitaire in it that I had fun playing it for the longest hours.

I am not a party animal but I know if a party rocks or not. As for the last night's event, I considered it something like a funeral.

Acknowledgments

• I thank God that I wasn't born rich and my mom didn't spoil me to my ruin even though I'm heer only son. Had she done it, I would have been like Mr. asshole who doesn't know the true meaning of life, of living and most of all, the value of love and be loved.
  
• I thank Mrs. Taganas, Engr. Pilapil and Mrs. Dingding for terribly teaching Biology, Advanced Chemistry and Physics, repsectively. I would have been working in a laboratory right now and would have been more cynical and more emotionally unattached to everybody like Gil Grissom.
  
• I thank my mom and Ma'am Banaag for building me a good foundation in English. It helps me in being very critical when it comes to grammar. And yes, it makes people think that I'm less of an engineer and I'm more fit as a callcenter agent than being a person doing those applied sciences.
  
• I thank my teammates for giving me a good reason to stick with my job. You make me temporarily forget the tension and stress that are eating up my system everything I get into this office.
  
• Thanks to my Ate for teaching my hygiene. Employers think that I'm so delicate and that I'm a better as a salesman than a wireless engineer.
  
• Thank you to my family and friends for giving me the security that no matter what happens, you would still be there for me.
  
• Thanks to blogging. I would have ended in a mental institution or may have killed myself in depression.

It's so Gay (and Childish)

I had been treated coldly by my former supervisor. She doesn't want to talk to me, she pretends to be forgetting something when she knows we would meet along the hallway, she lets my teammate hand all the necessary things for me, and yes, she snobs me when I try to smile at her. Such acts of an immature and childish person who supposedly instills the value of professionalism to her subordinates. Well, we could never remember what we tell to our people ("When will you stop acting like an immature person?").

And what's with the hirit lines such as "I'll be having my GA with my new team. PINAKAmasaya yun," and "I'm sure you will enjoy it more without me around." We really can't please everybody but we don't need to go that shallow to point out to the people that we're bitter for being not liked.

A true proactive person would instead look into himself and check what's wrong with him why the people around hate his guts, that is, if he really intends to please people, and that he really is proactive.

I'm in a new URL right now and I hope this wouldn't be found. If it would be, then it's no longer my fault. Blame it to Google and to your curiosity.

-o0o-

I had been visiting and bonding with Sam regularly and I haven't told my sister yet about it. She'd surely feel afraid that I might turn to gay like him. He's just so depressed lately that he needs a friend like me and being the so-called "father" of our group way back in high school makes me feel guilty that I would feel numb about his depression.

Anyway, I'm too old to not know myself. My femininity might be high but I certainly am not gay. And I trust Sam enough not to molest me in the middle of my sleep. I woke up one evening because I heard my mp3 CD being played by him when I've already kept it in my bag. He's just too addicted with the Barbra Streisand-Josh Groban duet that he keeps on playing it a zillion times. But aside from that, he's worth the trust I could give. After all, he's the same Samuel who I knew when I was 14.

The only thing that I really don't like is when he is in doubt of people's sexuality. He has been thinking if some of our guy friends are gay. They say that they could easily sense a straight from a pretending-to-be-straight and I beg to disagree with that. He also keeps on saying that some famous and not so famous male stars are gay.

Now that would leave the likes of Arlette (who is so hopelessly looking for a partner), feel more hopeless. They say that in every three guys, one is either taken or plans to be a priest, the other one is gay and only one is straight and available. From that remaining one, only a few look and smell nice. The rest need to undergo castration.

I would understand why gay guys are doing this. It's either that they are too selfish to just own the guys they want that let them look gay or they just want their tribe to thrive.

Whatever it is, there's more than that meets the eye.

Sex

Virginity is not a curse. In fact, it is a gift. It's much easier to convince people that it is, indeed, a blessing to remain pure before marriage, than persuading myself that singlehood is a God-given season. Oftentimes, virgin people are being chastized of being inexperienced when it comes to sex. They say they've missed half of their lives for they haven't reached nirvana.

Fact, that sex is a great thing... but only after marriage. I obviously sound so preachy but it's the right one. I'm not ashamed to tell the world that I haven't had any sexual experiences with anybody. In fact, like Joshua Harris, I commend all the guys and girls who stand firmly on their moral conviction that abstinence is the best way to express love prior to marriage.

Losers? Look who's talking. Now who has STD's among us? Who has suffered crisis earlier because of teenage/unexpected pregnancy and early marriage? Most of all, who has the guilt inside their head? It's not us, virgins, rather, it's you sexual experts. We're no losers, in fact, we're the winners. We haven't missed half of our life. Instead, we have enjoyed our youth.

Mistaken Identity

My Guilfford-Zimmerman Temperament Survey (GZTS) tells me that my femininity is high but our school psychologist assures me that it's not being gay. It's even better because I have wider understanding with the opposite sex (though their being so vain and slow-moving annoys me). Besides, I'm raised in a feminine environment so, it's easier for me to get along well with girls than to boys.

So, when people try to question or even joke with my sexuality, I try not to be affected but I'm also a human being. I have the hypothalamus which dictates me to be hurt. I hope people won't be judgmental on me... it's better that I don't exist to them than to be known yet my true being is still unidentified.

Year of the Wrath

2011 wasn't a good year for me. No. That's an understatement. Year 2011 was a baaaaaaaad year for me, when I felt I was so down, when I felt I lost my magic, when I felt I shouldn't have existed.

I lost my job, had chicken pox (my gosh my skin), been a bum for more than six months, had my heart broken twice, lost my self-esteem. It's the year I don't like.

But then again, since the year is a four, it should have balanced everything (talk about numerology). Therefore, I should be thankful for the things that happened in this not so awful year.

• January 1 - Celebrated New Year's Day with my family. How could this be not an awesome day?
  
  
• January 5 - Went to Camiguin for the nth time! What could be more exciting than to spend the entire day at the beach, getting tanned, and having a great rest?
  
  
• April 30 - I placed second runner-up in the Toastmasters International District 75 (National) Humorous speech contest, not to mention the championship trophies that I received during the area and division contests. In the area level, I swept all three categories - evaluation, impromptu and humorous, contributing three medals out of five to our club, making us the most number of medals earned in the entire division.
  
  
• May 14-31 - Stayed in Davao with my sister. It was my first long trip with my three kids without their Lola. Of course, it's extra challenging to be with them as we were along the road but it was a good vacation for them.
  
  
• July 9 - I was seated as the President of Camanava Brunch Toastmasters Club where I delivered my 20-minute keynote speech, narrating my inspiring stories in TM and challenging my members to be at their best. I think it was a well-crafted speech that I was overwhelmed with the standing ovation that I received after I delivered it. Achi Ida even said I'm a young Steve Jobs in public speaking. It was an overstatement but I was flattered to hear that.
  
  
• August 31 - Finally, after a long wait, of being choosy, of being disqualified from the applications, from bumhood, I got hired - as an engineer. Trend Micro is such a great company to work in, with supportive people, extra-challenging training, and newly found friends. I fell in love, got broken, but now I'm okay... I think. But I still have a job and that's important.
  
  
• October 22 - It's my second time to be back in Boracay, not as a vacationer, but as a delegate to the Toastmasters Midyear Conference, where I represented our Division, not as a humorous speaker this time, but as a serious and credible speech evaluator. I didn't place but it was a good opportunity for me to show my sensible and analytical side.

I am looking forward to a better 2012 where I can be stronger and where I could finally find my love.

Burn-awt

Nababato. Nababanas.
Paulit-ulit. Pari-parehas.
Araw-araw. Naiinis.
Sana'y ang oras ay bibilis.
Napapagod. Nababadtrip.
Gusto ko nang umuwi at umidlip.
Ayoko na. Ako'y suko na.
Diyos ko sana ako'y kakapit pa.

Hello there,

Concern lang naman about sa client natin na under those SR numbers.

Eto ung akin na most recent: (Case ID Number)

Under dito ay invalid SN problem problem na nagbigay ako new SN na narequest ko sa isa sa mga TLs natin di ko lang kasi remember kung sino dahil sa karami din ng cases.

Then inaantay ko lang sya mainstall and aun nainstall nga, ang nangyari ay nagreply si client at ganito ung reply nya:

(Letter Inserted)

Nung nacheck ko ung SN nabago which is DLEF-0024-9458-9068-8533, April 1, 2012 ang expiry date nya na nung nakita ko, naedit mo pala ung subscription and this time ung caller nyan is under the name Mitchell Harris. 1-1-531376382

Ang nakakagulo sa atin is kasi dalawa sila na humahandle ng subscription tapos ung caller ko naman na si Lynne Mcomber gusto nya is magkaroon sya ng sariling account sa bagong SN given sa kanya.

Siguro gusto ko lang naman hear out ung tawag ni client sayo sa SR mo kung ok lang para ang siguro gawin na lang natin is magbigay ng bagong SN ulit at iparegister un under sa email ni Lynne Mcomber. Approach mo na lang ako for Friday shift ko which is 12 am to 9am, sumakit na ulo ko eh din a matino isip ko ukol dun, ang gulo nilang dalawa. NAKAKABADTRIP sila hehe.

Respect

It begets respect. Fact is, my Mom worked her ass off to send me to school, regardless if it is not a reputable nor a prestigious one. But the least that a person could do is to respect my hard-earned profession.

I hate doing errands. It's because I seldom give orders. I may have grown up with a househelp but I was brought up not to be dependent to them.

Fact is, I hate taking orders because I'm simply a lazy ass. And I only do things when I want to do them and not because there's a force from the higher authority commanding me to do it.

Fact is, we have two hands. And we are responsible of our own properties. Unless we're born as members of the royalty, I couldn't understand if simple acts of thinking, or getting your one's drink, or bringing his notebook have to be asked from somebody.

This it is and nothing more. At least I'm normal again.

Of Sanitation and Customer Service

My OCD strikes again. Being raised in an environment where money is not allowed on places where food are usually put, McDonald's in Rockwell Business Center Ortigas has got my attention, in a very negative way. The first time their crew member put the utensils on the counter (even on top of tissue paper) for to-go orders, I already got irritated. The image of bacteria crawling toward those utensils disturbs me. Regardless of how clean it appears, it still is a counter. [Some] people place their money on it and it's too unsanitary.

I also remember one time when one of the supervisors accidentally bumped into the coffee section and made those paper cups fall on the floor. She just picked them up and place them back on the rack. It's just funny. Apparently, "wala pang 5 minutes" applies to your store.

I have already told the crew members about this malpractice but they just ignored me.

And so I took the next step - emailing their customer service department. And I was glad I did it. After 24 hours, I got a reply from them.

Last week, I saw the change. They're already using the paper place mat before putting those tissue paper and utensils. That's better. At least I've done those other customers a huge favor - of eating clean food.

I hope all establishments will take customers' comments that positively. And I hope all dissatisfied customers will be proactive in sending their suggestions as well.

I Have Learned

I miss this tool where I can express myself in more than 140 characters. I have been so hooked into the microblogging world when, in fact, I deserve the macrocosm universe, having a lot of things to say about everything and all.

Speaking of world, the planet of love is such a dense society that I don't feel the need to enter it, as of this time. I don't see the need. Yes, the inertia have tried to move this resting heart, but the force is not that great to put me in motion. After all, it should be me who should decide when to tell my thalamus to stop performing.

I am a thinker after all. I hardly cry a tear when watching those sappy movies. Don't get me wrong. I'm touched by some simple gestures of kindness, of heart-warming stories, of things that create a positive effect, but I am so dehydrated yo have my lacrimal glands excrete fluids.

Crushes will be there. They inspire me to go to work, to attend meetings, and to be dragging myself into places when I feel lazy and tired. But it all boils down to my decision to inspire myself. After all, those sources of inspiration will just go like a flash of light. But I will always stay inside of me, through thick and thin, until death, and I should count on my self and my eccentricities more than counting on other people.

I have learned that I have nothing to depend, to nurture, and to love more, but myself.

Happy new year to myself. Cheers!